tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25738278824106760782024-03-12T19:17:45.446-07:00As I Journey Through LossOur familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-35582790028666473072014-05-04T12:04:00.001-07:002014-05-04T12:04:11.791-07:003 years since those words...There is a side of me that wishes I could blog here more than once a year ... there is a side of me that wishes I could do more for other families waking this difficult road of loss ... and then there is the side of me that lives in this mess of reality, the side of me that hurts and grieves and cries and cries and cries. The side of me that just wishes I had never heard the words "Sorry, there is no longer a heart beat"<br />
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Yes I know three years have past now ... yes I know I have other children ... yes I know my life is full of many wonderful blessings. And because most of the people in my life would not offer a shoulder to cry on or an understanding ear to this pain I save my crying for times I am alone (the shower, the car, middle of the night when I can't sleep). I appreciate more than ever the unique band of mothers I still chat with on facebook ... they have sweet babies in heaven with mine ... yes, we each have lives that we continue to live. Yes, we each have families, busy lives and things we tend to each day. But what most of the world does not understand and often tells us to just forget are the precious babies we still long to hold, to kiss, to hug and sing to. We know better than anyone that life is not fair and that we can't always have what we dream of. We do the best we can to move forward ... but we will not "move on" as we have been told to do by countless well meaning friends and family and even strangers who feel the need to tell us how and when to grieve. I wish I could mail <a href="http://stillstandingmag.com/2014/01/6-things-never-say-bereaved-parent/"><b>this pos</b>t from Still Standing Magazine</a> to every person I have come in contact with after Journey died. Pain and loneliness are only multiplied when hurtful words are shared.<br />
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Something I have been able to do this past year to honor my sweet babies in heaven is contribute to two books written for mothers whose babies have died too soon: <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia7wFMf2k13CF3hFS4zSkwTnDOI1aJdz05XgWMw7rv90NJ9Z0foJrcb28YZuhwFMw9idy8ymG9IfVDeinQ71h89oI1gZzLPS-1nPIVhuKV_LH0TOqMvJRjpjqZQd_jsVm5t9Ie6HE4tdzz/s1600/matters+because+they+lived.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia7wFMf2k13CF3hFS4zSkwTnDOI1aJdz05XgWMw7rv90NJ9Z0foJrcb28YZuhwFMw9idy8ymG9IfVDeinQ71h89oI1gZzLPS-1nPIVhuKV_LH0TOqMvJRjpjqZQd_jsVm5t9Ie6HE4tdzz/s1600/matters+because+they+lived.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
<a href="http://somewhere-over-the-rainbow.myshopify.com/collections/books/products/because-they-lived-us-trade-paperback-book"><br /></a>
<a href="http://somewhere-over-the-rainbow.myshopify.com/collections/books/products/because-they-lived-us-trade-paperback-book">Because They Lived </a><br />
Was compiled by Katy Larson and resonates with the voices of over 60 families lives as they journey through loss and find their way
to hope. It shares the stories of these little lives that changed the
world.....<strong>because they lived. </strong>I was honored and blessed to share how our Journey Peace changed me because he did live. <br />
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And just in time for <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/International-Bereaved-Mothers-Day/205653979495449">International Bereaved Mother's Day</a> I received my copy of:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8AIZxZqMabnta5iAWtciqviUOkf5PDkfPoAtfu31mXyk2zT0J_WItpe5CzquU9M1_9xnN5SVuv63tyVlmuXAgo8XWbWhIB-C_u61EUI1n9j4hWFKSdQU94cmhIymQitKnR8qW9BBYSbsY/s1600/matters+to+mothers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8AIZxZqMabnta5iAWtciqviUOkf5PDkfPoAtfu31mXyk2zT0J_WItpe5CzquU9M1_9xnN5SVuv63tyVlmuXAgo8XWbWhIB-C_u61EUI1n9j4hWFKSdQU94cmhIymQitKnR8qW9BBYSbsY/s1600/matters+to+mothers.jpg" height="320" width="208" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Miscarriage-Matters-Mothers-Book-Stories/dp/1499232292/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1399228921&sr=1-1&keywords=miscarriage+matters">Miscarriage Matters to Mothers</a><br />
written and compiled by Michelle L Myers she shares that <i>"The death of a child is devastating blow to the heart of a parent. When
that event occurs before birth, or shortly after, we are left
blind-sighted by grief. We come together to share our stories of loss to
remember, encourage and honor. YOU ARE NOT ALONE ON THIS PATH. In
solidarity we band together with our stories. This book contains raw
emotion, the truth told with passion and conviction. These are our
stories shared to remember, inspire and validate... miscarriage matters
to mothers."</i><br />
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Today I remember Journey Peace because three years ago today I sat alone in an ultrasound room and my world fell apart again ... my baby boy was no longer alive. Today on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/International-Bereaved-Mothers-Day/205653979495449">International Bereaved Mothers Day</a> I remember the other babies I did not get hold or mother on earth. I know they are whole and happy and safe in the arms of Jesus in heaven, but that does not mean I do not miss them and love them every day that I live. <br />
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<br />Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-62706565544424268252013-10-02T18:53:00.001-07:002013-10-02T18:57:56.133-07:00Day 2: Identity<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWNtPX_eTGe4lcOG12hefhPCW9ToAQK5SfBN5oRLb1cpssAsJDbxKpfGtHT5dlsefTFzMyDPTvPyoV2ex1KD2GeBvq37xsGBdIM22wbPv1CHH3KmbU8bphjShk-aslgl5YWRIfxEngBsKP/s1600/20131002_074614%5B1%5D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWNtPX_eTGe4lcOG12hefhPCW9ToAQK5SfBN5oRLb1cpssAsJDbxKpfGtHT5dlsefTFzMyDPTvPyoV2ex1KD2GeBvq37xsGBdIM22wbPv1CHH3KmbU8bphjShk-aslgl5YWRIfxEngBsKP/s640/20131002_074614%5B1%5D.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Their identities? My sons and daughters </div>
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My identity? Their mama</div>
<br />Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-4807286812150741262013-10-01T12:24:00.002-07:002013-10-01T13:48:02.664-07:00Capture Your Grief - Day 1: Sunrise<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/CarlyMarieProjectHeal"> CarleyMarie</a> is the kind and brilliant mind behind The CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF Photographic Challenge for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month – October 2013. If you visit <a href="http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/">her site</a> you can see some of her inspiring writing and photography:<span style="color: white;"></span></blockquote>
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<span style="color: white;">.</span><i><a href="http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/projects/capture-your-grief-photograph-challenge">Last year </a>this
event was a beautiful success with over 2000 people from the Baby Loss
Community around the world taking part, many of which said the project
had made a very moving and profound impact on their lives.</i><br />
<i></i><br />
<div>
<i>Capture Your Grief is a 31 Day Photograph Challenge. You can take
part each day or pick and choose your days. Throughout the month there
is a daily subject/topic for you to concentrate on. You are invited to
share a photo that captures your journey with each daily subject. You
may use an old photo or you can take a brand new one. It is completely
up to you. All you will need is the internet and a camera (if you wish
to take new photos). It doesn’t have to be some big fancy DSLR – a phone
camera or a pocket digital camera will be perfect.
Just make sure you only use your own photographs – don’t take someone
else’s off the internet<b>, </b>this is your journey, not google’s! </i> </div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div>
<i>Below are the 31 daily subjects
for the 2013 event. Some of the subjects may not entirely relate to you,
or you may not feel comfortable with the subject so you are more than
welcome to take a photo inspired by your own subject for that day. (See,
it is all about makes you feel comfortable!) If you are looking for
inspiration for another subject you can always have a look at the<a href="http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/projects/capture-your-grief-photograph-challenge"> list from last year</a>. My subjects are simply a guideline. Below are also a few extra ideas to spark some inspiration in your own heart.</i></div>
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</i><i>Wishing everyone a beautiful, heart warming and healing October!</i> </blockquote>
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<a href="http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/CaptureYourGrief133.jpg"><img alt="CaptureYourGrief13" class="alignleft size-large wp-image-2392" height="379" src="http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/wp-content/plugins/image-shadow/cache/a1705909971c0292d85e0c52bcedff11.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><b>1. Sunrise:</b> Just like last year, I thought it would
be very meaningful for us all to capture the beginning of this journey
and important month by us all getting up early to photograph the sunrise
from wherever we are in the world. I know depending on where you are
and what climate you are in that there may not be a sunrise, but if you
can still get to a window, snap a photo of the morning. When you share
your photo online make sure you write what State/Country you are in and
the time of the sunrise. It will be a wonderful way for us all to feel
connected.</i></blockquote>
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Here are a few sunrise photos I snapped with my cell phone this morning (around 7 am in Minnesota):<br />
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Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-68698129585455357072013-05-04T17:27:00.000-07:002013-09-30T17:40:40.559-07:00May 4, 2013 - Two Years Later<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I don't have many words this year ... the memory of learning our sweet baby's heart beat was no longer beating during a routine ultrasound two years ago still haunts me ... the less than kind treatment by the first hospital still causes me fear and suffering ... the comforting and gentle love I received at the second hospital (thanks to my doula Sherokee) and from Resurrection Cemetery continue to rescue me ... the blessing of other moms who have walked this horrible road and shared their stories with me continues to uplift me and help me move forward. I will never "move on", I will never "just forget" the babies I did not get to hold here on earth ... but I try every day to make them proud of their mama and the way I am living for them and their earthly siblings.<br />
Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-25248164371573801372012-05-05T13:05:00.000-07:002012-06-18T19:09:15.990-07:00I must admit that yesterday was hard ... I am a mom of many and life must carry on ... no days off, so calling in sick. All week I've been remembering that a year ago we were joyfully expecting a baby and then on May 4th, 2011 we learned his heart was no longer beating. That day began a very sad and lonely time for me. Not many people know what to say when you lose a pregnancy ... many don't even think you have lost a "baby". But he was my baby, he was loved, he was being knit together inside of me ... I could not "forget" or "move on" as many suggested. Perhaps they were well intentioned suggestions, from people in my life who wanted to see me OK again. Many people are simply uncomfortable with grief and sadness ... since they don't know how to walk through it they are quick to suggest ways to avoid it. But I needed to grieve, I needed to miss my baby, I needed to name him and remember his short life. I've learned from past experience that avoiding grief and sadness, is really not the answer ... it doesn't really go away that way, it just gets stuffed away in some corner and delayed, it eats away at the rest of your life. Walking through it and dealing with all its ugliness is hard, its heart breaking, but its also healing. I had to avoid the people in my life who did not want to hear my sadness, who only wanted to suggest ways to forget what was happening and then there were the many who avoided me ... my phone, my email got very quiet. It was a lonely place to be. But God works in pain, in sadness and in hours of loneliness. He led me places I never dreamed and introduced me to other moms who were walking through their grief, just like me. I have been blessed by many women this past year. These are just a few that God blessed my life with:<br />
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<a href="http://sufficientgraceministries.org/">Sufficient Grace Ministries</a>
<br />
<a href="http://www.starlegacyfoundation.org/">Star Legacy</a>
<br />
<a href="http://www.anchoredbyhope.com/index.html">Anchored by Hope
</a>
<br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/GriefJourneys">Grief Journeys</a><br />
<a href="http://www.wintergreenpress.com/">Babies Remembered</a><br />
<a href="http://www.missinggrace.org/">Missing Grace</a>
<br />
<a href="http://www.irisremembers.com/welcome.cfm">I.R.I.S.</a><br />
<br />
So, yesterday, on the one year anniversary of Journey's death I
remembered and I visited his grave and felt such a peace ... not
something I can describe on a blog or in writing, but truly a peace. I
do not intend to "forget" ... I have 5 babies in heaven and I remember
each of them, their names, their due dates, the day they passed ... but I
know where they are and I know the God that comforts me and has walked
this road with me holds each of them in His hand. I will meet them one
day. I will not forget their short lives any more than I will forget
the lives growing right in front of me every day. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-n8S0xUxQ1YbnrK2mQYVDOT5ztsMUh_UJ1FwnPdtlJUKuAVac-ibve1VMj8v1sI9engezYJ1QmJ5fBWnSJ-arDS-tSyBXX-0dzuAh9uut82J0H9WhBz7bShKLr0Fr27HJSjg5kdI-12k/s1600/IMG_20120504_172519.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-n8S0xUxQ1YbnrK2mQYVDOT5ztsMUh_UJ1FwnPdtlJUKuAVac-ibve1VMj8v1sI9engezYJ1QmJ5fBWnSJ-arDS-tSyBXX-0dzuAh9uut82J0H9WhBz7bShKLr0Fr27HJSjg5kdI-12k/s320/IMG_20120504_172519.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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And at the very end of the day ... we were blessed with a beautiful sign from above:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipqPvO47UO20UQvP1bHfo0INsCg6T0bFdTgSod2Nral2HLWDjXESBqq9NJUSTxtbbd-0iWmY2sGFcflxQ-msvIj0BHW1nb9VB85_rRP2yr86VPZx6CRcgjRq743kwUNyQ_muZZ9YSzcd8/s1600/IMG_20120504_200126.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipqPvO47UO20UQvP1bHfo0INsCg6T0bFdTgSod2Nral2HLWDjXESBqq9NJUSTxtbbd-0iWmY2sGFcflxQ-msvIj0BHW1nb9VB85_rRP2yr86VPZx6CRcgjRq743kwUNyQ_muZZ9YSzcd8/s320/IMG_20120504_200126.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-82278375837743327082011-11-01T05:54:00.000-07:002013-09-30T17:42:49.422-07:00Really don't like November<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhioH-Zu_tx4yNUprIu4mHFAgfVChyrLh_CllKpPLUZ_yFimINFrWV1_P3ztpPS23UE1tfizYztTlgerhQfzT8ruDABDEUEsmUYoUuYt6j-i6SgZ5FETFAE-JXp5UNXoer9sSpPTMhnf14/s1600/praying+angel.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5670182199374894770" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhioH-Zu_tx4yNUprIu4mHFAgfVChyrLh_CllKpPLUZ_yFimINFrWV1_P3ztpPS23UE1tfizYztTlgerhQfzT8ruDABDEUEsmUYoUuYt6j-i6SgZ5FETFAE-JXp5UNXoer9sSpPTMhnf14/s400/praying+angel.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 281px;" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGdNHjbtAHtM-UwuysA2b22amy0n-1NXstMvaeOXyOeQqQt3YqQnqWAy6cb808BpSoTuIwna_D1MOOIrar2BxIDjdielLE0-DJMcegaO_UeNzUMFRsQiIbZv5GLOUqud7E_0BABxALTO0/s1600/angel+baby+in+wings.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><br /></a>November is not my favorite month ... most people assume its because the weather is getting colder, and days are getting shorter. And while I'm not fond of either of those characteristics of November, my reasons are different ones. November is the month we experienced our first pregnancy loss (in 2004) . We named that baby Liberty John. I often think we would have called her Libby. I know she was born straight into heaven ... never knew pain or sadness of fear, but still I miss her and wish she could have been a physical presence in our family. I suppose that is a bit selfish ... but its true.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGdNHjbtAHtM-UwuysA2b22amy0n-1NXstMvaeOXyOeQqQt3YqQnqWAy6cb808BpSoTuIwna_D1MOOIrar2BxIDjdielLE0-DJMcegaO_UeNzUMFRsQiIbZv5GLOUqud7E_0BABxALTO0/s1600/angel+baby+in+wings.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5670182193090969026" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGdNHjbtAHtM-UwuysA2b22amy0n-1NXstMvaeOXyOeQqQt3YqQnqWAy6cb808BpSoTuIwna_D1MOOIrar2BxIDjdielLE0-DJMcegaO_UeNzUMFRsQiIbZv5GLOUqud7E_0BABxALTO0/s400/angel+baby+in+wings.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 281px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
And this year only strengthens my dislike for this month. We expected and planned to welcome a new baby boy on 11-11-11 (cool date for a birthday, ha?) His name is Journey Peace. But he made his journey to peace in May ... again he knew no pain or sadness or fear ... he is full of joy and peace; as I imagine that is all one would feel in heaven. My babies can look right into their Heavenly Father's face and feel such love. But my journey here is not finished and I still live in this fallen world, surrounded by hurt and sadness and fear and I am weary in this battle. Today I am sad and hurt and confused. I want so badly to hold my babies.Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-6275573219627650832011-10-24T16:57:00.001-07:002011-10-24T16:57:37.599-07:00<span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Are You Ok?</span></span><br />by Susan M Simpson<br /><br /><br />They ask if I'm ok,<br /><br />Which answer would they like?<br /><br />There's the one that they'll find easier,<br /><br />Then there's the one that's right.<br /><br /><br /><br />I could tell them that I'm coping,<br /><br />That I'm moving on with life.<br /><br />They'll smile sadly, nod, agree with me,<br /><br />Not see my inner strife.<br /><br /><br /><br />But inside my soul is screaming,<br /><br />It heard that awful lie.<br /><br />The truth they just don't want to hear,<br /><br />This pain I have to hide.<br /><br /><br /><br />My heart, it feels, is broken,<br /><br />My spirit, that's gone too.<br /><br />I sense there's no fight left in me,<br /><br />That went when I lost you.<br /><br /><br /><br />And this I cannot tell them<br /><br />There's no words to explain,<br /><br />And even if there were,<br /><br />It would only cause them pain.<br /><br /><br /><br />I can't pretend, I'm not that strong,<br /><br />It only makes me cry,<br /><br />Can't say the words to lie to them,<br /><br />Don't even want to try.<br /><br /><br /><br />I'm not 'ok' - will never be<br /><br />Your life changed me, it's true<br /><br />This sadness that I carry,<br /><br />Is a mother's love for you.<br /><br /><br /><br />So when they ask, I'll look at them,<br /><br />Through eyes that burn with tears.<br /><br />I won't deny my love for you,<br /><br />With lies that quell their fears.<br /><br /><br /><br />There are no words for me to say,<br /><br />Instead I will just shrug.<br /><br />And hope that it will be enough,<br /><br />They'll leave with just a hug.<br /><br /><br /><br />I know that if they try too hard,<br /><br />Their words will just hurt more,<br /><br />Though kindly-meant, they're meaningless<br /><br />I fight this lonely war.<br /><br /><br /><br />They'll say 'you'll have another one'<br /><br />'Just try again', 'you're young'.<br /><br />'Accept it wasn't meant to be',<br /><br />'Get over it', 'move on'.<br /><br /><br /><br />How could they ever understand<br /><br />This sorrow that I hide,<br /><br />Sadly, the only way<br /><br />Is if they ever lost their child.<br /><br /><br /><br />Other children I may bear,<br /><br />And happiness might find,<br /><br />That never will erase the love<br /><br />For the child I left behind.<br /><br /><br /><br />So please don't ask if I'm 'ok'<br /><br />Don't try to comfort me,<br /><br />The kindest thing to offer<br /><br />Is a simple 'I'm sorry'.Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-48558696382694253072011-10-17T16:55:00.000-07:002011-10-24T16:56:01.496-07:00Speakers from the Oct 15th Memorial ...<a href="http://www.caringforcarleigh.com/">Holly Haas</a>:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgECaUfnS5uvziyCa4T20cNgtx3nXAjfITPoMXEXoeEr4lQMWcM3gDrnEa9CL1Apu9I-8rjJrSl496x6guPCjSxW0WBvoSIxEcn0-WzvDvd8jefCm8k4m434EWlzMzmRqn3kZZqHWlBy_o/s1600/2011+Oct+15th+weekend+495.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgECaUfnS5uvziyCa4T20cNgtx3nXAjfITPoMXEXoeEr4lQMWcM3gDrnEa9CL1Apu9I-8rjJrSl496x6guPCjSxW0WBvoSIxEcn0-WzvDvd8jefCm8k4m434EWlzMzmRqn3kZZqHWlBy_o/s400/2011+Oct+15th+weekend+495.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5664987639533896050" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUmNawrAR1t2TwPO1FMI1sfcxDpInJARWXb4f4mVp86j68vtEqt0hk-g8ckfCeDl97hXXRqADQ8QhRoVVQm8pA1g_Kr_2AKZxn-qSWUKkRITi7mzCMAFNLjTD9d_k0_762T7AqzMAxD3w/s1600/2011+Oct+15th+weekend+501.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUmNawrAR1t2TwPO1FMI1sfcxDpInJARWXb4f4mVp86j68vtEqt0hk-g8ckfCeDl97hXXRqADQ8QhRoVVQm8pA1g_Kr_2AKZxn-qSWUKkRITi7mzCMAFNLjTD9d_k0_762T7AqzMAxD3w/s400/2011+Oct+15th+weekend+501.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5664987643924084690" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />Amanda Haas:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiby8CNz0Z0HVh3xe9CW5BP3e8o2pjZyvKmf6OSiP8xx3LrWiBFosMFyjoPntHyalsvw0iiLZZ8UW2fOe4hHbSRKzBlOkDJCCOP_mnvO9TWRLHfixaKyoazcPN_ZFk3VVmgmoPCiHFLP6c/s1600/2011+Oct+15th+weekend+512.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiby8CNz0Z0HVh3xe9CW5BP3e8o2pjZyvKmf6OSiP8xx3LrWiBFosMFyjoPntHyalsvw0iiLZZ8UW2fOe4hHbSRKzBlOkDJCCOP_mnvO9TWRLHfixaKyoazcPN_ZFk3VVmgmoPCiHFLP6c/s400/2011+Oct+15th+weekend+512.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5664987651588946898" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVKG-sFBIvNRoLC1llXLnLLONl_tTgu6UQc4r1accyG4upCUeKoeV5ZTe0cT2q6bH2SAUyLO9ejtUeG0jeE7NSU4_c8vFF-poDu4dmDyau-_sRsgRB1BaBuy1b0tuUV4cXg9XokTyXWcI/s1600/2011+Oct+15th+weekend+508.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVKG-sFBIvNRoLC1llXLnLLONl_tTgu6UQc4r1accyG4upCUeKoeV5ZTe0cT2q6bH2SAUyLO9ejtUeG0jeE7NSU4_c8vFF-poDu4dmDyau-_sRsgRB1BaBuy1b0tuUV4cXg9XokTyXWcI/s400/2011+Oct+15th+weekend+508.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5664987670683142530" border="0" /></a><br /><br />And my sweet friend <a href="http://www.babiesremembered.com/">Sherokee Ilse</a>:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL9YSTkbxAjU4KcYDZ7oLaHUFOyLSSBS16S8FaLZKMYalU-fVKYq9jzHdCivrPgmIlWvHoF8YiqYbKa6lDBxiZgPWLPofqx4uu78yyi3nfcnyK4r53kzIETZmn1X1vla7X6DUKOih_i4Q/s1600/2011+Oct+15th+weekend+468+-+Copy.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL9YSTkbxAjU4KcYDZ7oLaHUFOyLSSBS16S8FaLZKMYalU-fVKYq9jzHdCivrPgmIlWvHoF8YiqYbKa6lDBxiZgPWLPofqx4uu78yyi3nfcnyK4r53kzIETZmn1X1vla7X6DUKOih_i4Q/s400/2011+Oct+15th+weekend+468+-+Copy.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5665568721767828018" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHd-C5fIT5z0aMRqaxDiyS7oO4mmHZi4yo-_Oqhebm_iwUcDQoD48_-PhmXSCZlhfLGN2IQKa6CG5DP00HwqV-87ciaR9Bu4-EcezL0HRIVqycrVyfwLo1dG4mKYyTOxVQf7Fqg9K8jwc/s1600/2011+Oct+15th+weekend+566.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHd-C5fIT5z0aMRqaxDiyS7oO4mmHZi4yo-_Oqhebm_iwUcDQoD48_-PhmXSCZlhfLGN2IQKa6CG5DP00HwqV-87ciaR9Bu4-EcezL0HRIVqycrVyfwLo1dG4mKYyTOxVQf7Fqg9K8jwc/s400/2011+Oct+15th+weekend+566.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5665568738405363266" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBSSUvHhivvfF7DsREL1bPQUQLWzTbm9IqhFCX1rut029msDwQ3RMdywHbgwAmeaf9sTFpwlgtGKeyO__0U9Kp3FX8MUynV6811vqG5ifUonDfFsq9lLwYZL8txnbz_Sw8_CZ23d0rck8/s1600/2011+Oct+15th+weekend+567.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBSSUvHhivvfF7DsREL1bPQUQLWzTbm9IqhFCX1rut029msDwQ3RMdywHbgwAmeaf9sTFpwlgtGKeyO__0U9Kp3FX8MUynV6811vqG5ifUonDfFsq9lLwYZL8txnbz_Sw8_CZ23d0rck8/s400/2011+Oct+15th+weekend+567.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5665568742661002898" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGAofC1pRPqRlzOAAMllh76lrYDj5yQhvmVHDz-VDQe2RN_8s_YXSJ909WnikCCzvIuUSMP9yD9KpapUUnykZI2nDcqHgrbFwKpGTWlYcYyCEHGSKdJFMn-kz4acJW6GKuUeK0ahlfVIU/s1600/2011+Oct+15th+weekend+615.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGAofC1pRPqRlzOAAMllh76lrYDj5yQhvmVHDz-VDQe2RN_8s_YXSJ909WnikCCzvIuUSMP9yD9KpapUUnykZI2nDcqHgrbFwKpGTWlYcYyCEHGSKdJFMn-kz4acJW6GKuUeK0ahlfVIU/s400/2011+Oct+15th+weekend+615.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5665568720786528210" border="0" /></a>Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-55392796409008966902011-10-15T16:25:00.000-07:002011-10-18T16:25:53.270-07:00Oct 15th<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdsOe-cL7a92nV7n9qWxn4i7ofvhgDVNPBnfVWJH48IeUSOt4Y-PS6JzMj0HT2OShoBitZiItQZcagCF1IgcJdU6tXnA05j6pBraLXuOThyphenhyphenGtc9M9qlkYXcDaibAeYEwvVqkwUoDFSfNc/s1600/2011+Sept+-+Mikayla%2527s+camera+064+Angelbabies.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdsOe-cL7a92nV7n9qWxn4i7ofvhgDVNPBnfVWJH48IeUSOt4Y-PS6JzMj0HT2OShoBitZiItQZcagCF1IgcJdU6tXnA05j6pBraLXuOThyphenhyphenGtc9M9qlkYXcDaibAeYEwvVqkwUoDFSfNc/s400/2011+Sept+-+Mikayla%2527s+camera+064+Angelbabies.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5664976039979554882" border="0" /></a><br />This post was originally written by Corinne O'Flynn and shared at <a href="http://www.rowantreefoundation.org/index.php?option=com_content&tashttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifk=view&id=32&Itemid=2">Rowan Tree Foundation</a>:<br /><br /><br />In 1988, the month of October was named national Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. And in 2006 October 15th was further recognized as the international day of awareness.<br />All losses are the loss of a child. When it comes to grieving the loss of your child, there is no line drawn to separate miscarriage, stillbirth, newborn, infant, and older child. No matter how long they spent in the womb, or in your arms... it is your child you are missing.<br /><br />Please join us on October 15th at 7PM (in your time zone) by lighting a candle for remembrance. Organizations across the globe ask that you take part in this "Wave of Light" by lighting a candle at 7pm, in your local time zone. Please take a moment on this day for reflection, and remembering our lost children by lighting a candle at home, in groups and gatherings, attending a mass, or calling someone close to you who has experienced this loss. No matter how recent or how long ago, every parent would love to know that someone is remembering their angel child.<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="font-style:italic;">By the President of the United States of America<br />A Proclamation<br /><br /><br />Each year, approximately a million pregnancies in the United States end in miscarriage, stillbirth, or the death of the newborn child. National observance of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, 1988, offers us the opportunity to increase our understanding of the great tragedy involved in the deaths of unborn and newborn babies. It also enables us to consider how, as individuals and communities, we can meet the needs of bereaved parents and family members and work to prevent causes of these problems.<br /><br />Health care professionals recognize that trends of recent years, such as smaller family size and the postponement of childbearing, adds another dimension of poignance to the grief of parents who have lost infants. More than 700 local, national, and international support groups are supplying programs and strategies designed to help parents cope with their loss. Parents who have suffered their own losses, health care professionals, and specially trained hospital staff members are helping newly bereaved parents deal constructively with loss.<br /><br />Compassionate Americans are also assisting women who suffer bereavement, guilt, and emotional and physical trauma that accompany post-abortion syndrome. We can and must do a much better job of encouraging adoption as an alternative to abortion; of helping the single parents who wish to raise their babies; and of offering friendship and temporal support to the courageous women and girls who give their children the gifts of life and loving adoptive parents. We can be truly grateful for the devotion and concern provided by all of these citizens, and we should offer them our cooperation and support as well.<br /><br />The Congress, by Senate Joint Resolution 314, has designated the month of October 1988 as "Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month" and authorized and requested the President to issue a proclamation in observance of this month.<br /><br />Now, Therefore, I, Ronald Reagan, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim the month of October 1988 as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. I call upon the people of the United States to observe this month with appropriate programs, ceremonies, and activities.<br /><br />In Witness Whereof, I have hereunto set my hand this twenty-fifth day of October, in the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and eighty-eight, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirteenth.<br /><br />RONALD REAGAN</span></blockquote><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.pregnancylossribbons.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj278/pocketposies/PinkBlueRibbon.png" /></a><br /></div>Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-61823225695903709622011-10-14T16:26:00.000-07:002011-10-18T16:27:34.759-07:00Please light a candle with us tomorrow at 7pm, to remember all the babies we have lost too soon<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3CngA_Jzeol-uSKg5lBwRtxFuvENwnQ3vCkbzwsmkFWp4r8ZogihqwvU74C_FyN2qJsPR-Bq_4eW6lTRfIcmkYxqMcHUt1wfN5IXmJXPs51F4U_7tB3sALl04BpB2TD1662fzDhR-TEw/s1600/Oct+15th+Light+a+candel-1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 259px; height: 194px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3CngA_Jzeol-uSKg5lBwRtxFuvENwnQ3vCkbzwsmkFWp4r8ZogihqwvU74C_FyN2qJsPR-Bq_4eW6lTRfIcmkYxqMcHUt1wfN5IXmJXPs51F4U_7tB3sALl04BpB2TD1662fzDhR-TEw/s400/Oct+15th+Light+a+candel-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5663568576858688770" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrGL3ct06iUlJWiMrst7Aa4v0Zbg0HNcV6NFsArvm4O0S9sem2ZmTTiZxWBHaSkQPwXrd7SWzUR23Ul7n0TK_AhCZTy0yNuWQiIO_wgg1-kwSYoa9z_2HTgnP15zDRjUB7bBGPAaGuMVg/s1600/Oct+15th+lit-candles-surrounded-by-glass-beads.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrGL3ct06iUlJWiMrst7Aa4v0Zbg0HNcV6NFsArvm4O0S9sem2ZmTTiZxWBHaSkQPwXrd7SWzUR23Ul7n0TK_AhCZTy0yNuWQiIO_wgg1-kwSYoa9z_2HTgnP15zDRjUB7bBGPAaGuMVg/s400/Oct+15th+lit-candles-surrounded-by-glass-beads.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5663804010017879378" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihVIt1fM7jx6Lhog9_fSSOlmpVFEiAMCkCWUWYO0QUxWE93tVfyIDu5JavchEB1NoG8QfgWsayb09gSoYR07hyphenhyphengB-kVG6vyXay6LnZ11pUeMkT2TVLVs0XZH3st45Z-qxWIKSKEU5z5G4/s1600/Oct+15th+candles-300x238.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 238px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihVIt1fM7jx6Lhog9_fSSOlmpVFEiAMCkCWUWYO0QUxWE93tVfyIDu5JavchEB1NoG8QfgWsayb09gSoYR07hyphenhyphengB-kVG6vyXay6LnZ11pUeMkT2TVLVs0XZH3st45Z-qxWIKSKEU5z5G4/s400/Oct+15th+candles-300x238.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5663804012952416914" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpsEh7eu82R1CCGfgjlS2eqInENMvRyQFkN5AzaPHKwNSxv0gDeqB8AXo_HHeWpU8c6HUqz69MqDodKdAIGJ80RhQtVWUrN7mhJ31pGBX9drnZbTWBoS7HHt-9gRqhAqaIqjGPapAGmyw/s1600/Oct+15th+ribbon+candle.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpsEh7eu82R1CCGfgjlS2eqInENMvRyQFkN5AzaPHKwNSxv0gDeqB8AXo_HHeWpU8c6HUqz69MqDodKdAIGJ80RhQtVWUrN7mhJ31pGBX9drnZbTWBoS7HHt-9gRqhAqaIqjGPapAGmyw/s400/Oct+15th+ribbon+candle.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5663804037569008450" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKtoi96yihpPgkyTHoT-GRV7v0n6mTh2IhaIRJxJFWnDHuvZOOQLD0HIcY2_1kf3OKaXVAw1AduukJ9s6IZY_IkqYqBS3v9JqxB6ezoEDLFJ2iBFWhPM5kD9PDusrv0Y1KEeUdFJzj1yw/s1600/2011+July+326.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKtoi96yihpPgkyTHoT-GRV7v0n6mTh2IhaIRJxJFWnDHuvZOOQLD0HIcY2_1kf3OKaXVAw1AduukJ9s6IZY_IkqYqBS3v9JqxB6ezoEDLFJ2iBFWhPM5kD9PDusrv0Y1KEeUdFJzj1yw/s320/2011+July+326.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5663806176359257378" border="0" /></a>Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-63330925423286406522011-10-13T18:30:00.001-07:002011-10-13T18:30:29.835-07:00In Honor of Oct 15th<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4RTFABsCHWS9EZFS4WSOnw-hWdZ_FdLeZ9HAOrg4t6DfAjMatejSPP_4Vc7leaXUW9-MDyr378hfwvmwQIxNfEfns7PPhjItfbirLGjKX0dMU9rZrEVNyIioW7dZCUPpgS4CkJcBQlKg/s1600/2011+Oct+018+-+Copy.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 302px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4RTFABsCHWS9EZFS4WSOnw-hWdZ_FdLeZ9HAOrg4t6DfAjMatejSPP_4Vc7leaXUW9-MDyr378hfwvmwQIxNfEfns7PPhjItfbirLGjKX0dMU9rZrEVNyIioW7dZCUPpgS4CkJcBQlKg/s400/2011+Oct+018+-+Copy.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5663054316699601362" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8R8-ZogilQ-S8o02XFmJuJumVyHC6wgzhfnTgddKIgmh56gIui8p-E6hngtu3Ji7iY7OEcL-RS-ictUEB5ObMAKcYHOFKg4ZLKu6QhWJzoqDkQXtFfPkKDc5PQKfJpr2xee96HK2f8vk/s1600/2011+Oct+012.JPG"><br /></a><br />On Monday this week I accompanied my friend <a href="http://www.anchoredbyhope.com/group%20leaders.html">Kristie</a> to the City Council Meeting in Red Wing, MN. She had been asked to accept a proclamation honoring Oct 15th as a day of Remembrance for Pregnancy and Infant Loss, read by the Mayor. She accepted on behalf of <a href="http://www.anchoredbyhope.com/index.html">Anchored by Hope</a> and <a href="http://www.newbeginningspc.com/">New Beginnings</a>, as those are the two organizations hosting this weekends Memorial Service at 5 pm on Sat Oct 15th.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQpTlwIlE_ETU2pMvl_FPyxjDSnCCeS8AjdnhwgN6hkistse8r9h4bMbkbSk_PrPv5pWrgxN165F7A7PyrT3Vd0Rq3nJxTsOGE1lAKFguT4QNceZkwDm2jdrrz8zV0XxJNCrCXvqa-g1U/s1600/2011+Oct+006.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQpTlwIlE_ETU2pMvl_FPyxjDSnCCeS8AjdnhwgN6hkistse8r9h4bMbkbSk_PrPv5pWrgxN165F7A7PyrT3Vd0Rq3nJxTsOGE1lAKFguT4QNceZkwDm2jdrrz8zV0XxJNCrCXvqa-g1U/s400/2011+Oct+006.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5663054795699539122" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjySxPjBGLimrslil3X-puNmOSUQeD1luPxUFMH0FcSmt4IBvjBWoy8W5_l6zOxLEFNc_P4dHb0pK-_8FtFcKwXgM4OX9qU6_VJE1kXynd3tpQhVn11XV_hM0U0bM7LYPKnTenIB_1HzY8/s1600/2011+Oct+008.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjySxPjBGLimrslil3X-puNmOSUQeD1luPxUFMH0FcSmt4IBvjBWoy8W5_l6zOxLEFNc_P4dHb0pK-_8FtFcKwXgM4OX9qU6_VJE1kXynd3tpQhVn11XV_hM0U0bM7LYPKnTenIB_1HzY8/s400/2011+Oct+008.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5663054322762383282" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8R8-ZogilQ-S8o02XFmJuJumVyHC6wgzhfnTgddKIgmh56gIui8p-E6hngtu3Ji7iY7OEcL-RS-ictUEB5ObMAKcYHOFKg4ZLKu6QhWJzoqDkQXtFfPkKDc5PQKfJpr2xee96HK2f8vk/s1600/2011+Oct+012.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8R8-ZogilQ-S8o02XFmJuJumVyHC6wgzhfnTgddKIgmh56gIui8p-E6hngtu3Ji7iY7OEcL-RS-ictUEB5ObMAKcYHOFKg4ZLKu6QhWJzoqDkQXtFfPkKDc5PQKfJpr2xee96HK2f8vk/s400/2011+Oct+012.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5663054338182810930" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.october15memorial.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af66/unforgottenchildren/online%20stuff/bd0e15bd.jpg" /></a><br /></div>Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-85773564176326127522011-10-08T18:19:00.000-07:002011-10-09T06:26:31.038-07:00A 31 Day Blogging Challenge From Another Baby Loss MomToday is the final day of the <a href="http://www.starlegacyfoundation.org/Summit.php">Star Legacy's Stillbirth Summit</a> that I have been attending in Bloomington, MN. In honor of that and October being the <a href="http://www.october15th.com/88_reagan_proc.htm">National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month</a> I want to share a Blogging Challenge that I came across:<br /><br />Cassie started a 31 Days Blogging Challenge For Mothers of Loss at her blog, <a href="http://livinganewnormal.blogspot.com/2011/10/31-days-blogging-challenge-for-mothers.html">Living A New Normal</a>, in honor of Pregnancy & Infancy Loss Awareness Month. Please visit her site and feel free to join in.<br /><br />Journaling or blogging has always helped me, I think its a great idea for moms who are walking this very difficult road of loss. And if getting started is an over whelming idea, Cassie has helped make this very easy. She has listed out prompts for each of the 31 days in October. You can answer the question each day as a way to get your thoughts going.<br /><br />Day 1: Who are you? Share as little or as much about you in general.<br />Day 2: Tell us about your child(ren). As much or as little as you like. Names, birthdays, stats.<br />Day 3: Through your grief process who has been your "rock"<br />Day 4: Through your grief process what has kept you going?<br />Day 5: Do you ever get subtle reminds of your angel(s)? If so what what are they?<br />Day 6: How do you answer the question of how many children you have?<br />Day 7: Do you do something to honor your angel(s)? If so what?<br />Day 8: Do you feel you have more good days than bad ones?<br />Day 9: If you have other children how has your loss affected them? If you don't other children how has your loss affected your relationship with your partner?<br />Day 10: If you have Rainbows or older children do they know and remember your angel(s)?<br />Day 11: It is said that Father's and Mother's grieve differently. Do you feel this is true with your angel's father?<br />Day 12: How has the rest of your family dealt with your loss?<br />Day 13: Does anyone else besides your speak your child's name?<br />Day 14: What have you done to preserve your child's memories or make new memories of your angel.<br />Day 15: Today is Pregnancy and Infancy Loss Awareness Day. What are you doing today?<br />Day 16: Do you take time for yourself?<br />Day 17: Do you feel your child is watching over you?<br />Day 18: Have you found something that puts you at peace?<br />Day 19: What is your happiest memory of your child(ren)?<br />Day 20: If you have anger.....What are you most angry about?<br />Day 21: Is there something about your child(ren) that brings a smile to your face?<br />Day 22: Do you have a song or songs that make you think of your child(ren)<br />Day 23: Besides changing the outcome, what is one thing you would have done differently?<br />Day 24: On Birthday's, Diagnosis Day's, Anniversaries of Passing. Do you prepare for them?<br />Day 25: On Birthday's, Diagnosis Day's, Anniversaries of Passing. How do you handle them?<br />Day 26: On a scale of 1 to 10 rate your day today and why?<br />Day 27: Share a picture.<br />Day 28: Have you ever corrected or wish you corrected someone about your loss?<br />Day 29: What are your beliefs as far as where you think your child(ren) is/are. Will you see each other again?<br />Day 30: How are your preparing for the end of the year? (ie: Holiday's and starting a new year)<br />Day 31: Do you feel like 31 days has helped you open up more about your child(ren) and your grief?Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-17464813493026934882011-09-28T22:09:00.000-07:002013-09-30T17:53:31.245-07:00Journey Peace<span style="font-family: georgia;">Originally posted a few weeks back, but was watching it again tonight, so thought I would repost:</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 85%;">I have been part of bible study for babyloss moms this summer. It's put together by some wonderful women at </span><a href="http://www.anchoredbyhope.com/bible%20study.html"><span style="font-size: 85%;">Anchored by Hope</span></a><span style="font-size: 85%;">. As a final project each of us are putting together a memorial to our angel babies. I thought I would sharef mine with you:</span><br />
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<embed flashvars="&p=ef323e59b1d100c474d10a&skin_id=1010&host=http://www.onetruemedia.com" height="290" name="FLVPlayer" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" quality="high" salign="LT" scale="noscale" src="http://www.onetruemedia.com/share_view_player?p=" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="327" wmode="transparent"></embed><br />
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<a href="http://www.onetruemedia.com/landing?&utm_source=emplay&utm_medium=txt5" style="text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!<br /><span style="text-decoration: underline;">www.onetruemedia.com</span></a></div>
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Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-33899106807672386972011-09-21T05:50:00.000-07:002011-09-21T08:25:58.897-07:00GMG in 1 John ~ Week 1This week begins the <a href="http://www.goodmorninggirls.org/">Good Morning Girls</a> 12 week study though the book of 1 John. My summer has been full of sadness and loss ... but my God has been graciously by my side. I am currently feeling flat, sad and defeated ... with very little energy to keep up with much of a bible study. But I know in my heart that to overcome and live the life God wants me to live I need to find a way to soak in His Word on a daily basis. I need to stop trying to just survive day to day on my own will and strength and instead immerse myself in love and worship for my great God, so I will once again see and hear His call and His plan for my life. The plan and method the <a href="http://www.goodmorninggirls.org/">Good Morning Girls</a> are using looks to be a great way for me to start. The daily reading is short (usually 1 or 2 verses) followed by a short writing assignment ... but that gives me all day to look up, think about, and meditate on those verses (and hopefully have something to write down about them). It is truly His Word that I will spend time digging into and praying over ... no one else's interpretation ... just what the Lord wants to reveal to me each day.<br /><br />I would love to hear if other women are also out there joining the Good Morning Girls in this study of 1 John ... what are your motives? what are your hopes for this study? do you already have a set time and place that you do a quiet time? or is this a habit you are hoping this study helps you learn? or like in my case re-learn?<br /><br />If you are joining us this fall and looking daily at 1 John, I hope you will share with me from time to time your insights and observations of the verses we are reading. I will try and post at least weekly about the observations and/or applications the Lord is showing me as I study His Word. This week already I have been struck by the tone of excitement I sense in 1 John 1:1-4. In my Good Morning Girls facebook group many of us have commented on the fact that John is basically giving his credential ... like he is saying 'You can believe me because I saw him, I heard, I touched him ... I was there!!! And Believe me Jesus <span jsid="text" class="commentBody">is the Messiah, the One who is eternal life, the one who was with God from the beginning</span>!!!' He has seen and heard and touched and now he wants those he is writing to to know what he knows. Reading these verses makes me excited to read the rest of 1 John.<br /><br />If you have not yet learned of <a href="http://www.goodmorninggirls.org/2011/09http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif/week-1-intro-to-i-john-11-4/">The Good Morning Girls</a> or if you have not printed out the E-book click <a href="http://www.goodmorninggirls.org/2011/09/week-1-intro-to-i-john-11-4/">HERE</a> to read more and see God at work in the lives of women around the world.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiogZqR18Fsf21UT4J_aFOfXzydNfINnIdHLdxz-peN0fxRcg0EKRj92l-14K9TUzHYccEgJfSQ43h1JxF-0OlrENvqYmabrefGAgO_0BX5CPZbt63l2WbSOBmMQKuqC4nDYT_jMXWCqYA/s1600/GMG.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiogZqR18Fsf21UT4J_aFOfXzydNfINnIdHLdxz-peN0fxRcg0EKRj92l-14K9TUzHYccEgJfSQ43h1JxF-0OlrENvqYmabrefGAgO_0BX5CPZbt63l2WbSOBmMQKuqC4nDYT_jMXWCqYA/s400/GMG.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566778908328674178" border="0" /></a>Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-77343858077016990742011-09-15T15:28:00.000-07:002013-09-30T18:05:58.097-07:00Been processing a few things ...So far September has been a tough month and I have been doing a lot of silent processing ... three people we knew passed away due to cancer in this first half of September ... I am also still processing and grieving the fact that we will not welcome a new baby this winter ... my sister and her kids were attending the Reno air show this week where there was a horrible crash and several spectators were killed and injured (my nieces and nephew saw it all)... several of our friends are dealing with family tension, or cancer, or unemployment or financial issues ... there just seems to be so much pain, so much suffering ... its so hard to understand ... so hard to see that this could possibly be used of God. Why would God allow such pains? If I let myself I suppose I could struggle with did God cause this argument vs. God simply allowed this evil to happen argument. At this point I just KNOW it happened ... and people I love are hurting and suffering ... I am hurting and suffering and feel so broken. I want to shake my fists and scream at the top of my lungs "GOD! THIS ALL MAKES NOOOOO SENSE!" ... OK, in all reality I have actually already done that and it solved nothing ... no miraculous voice came down from the sky with answers, nothing got better (I got a sore throat and my neighbors might be wondering about my sanity). <br />
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I figure God hears all my thoughts, He knows them even before I can form them into words. So I have decided to just spew it all out before Him. Not long after my sister, Missy, died back in 2006 someone told me "don't try to hide what you are really feeling and thinking from God (as if thats even possible) ... He is big enough, He can handle your confusion, and anger, and tears. And how can He ever help or answer if you don't ask." So I have been asking, I have been praying on my knees, and while I walk, in my bed, and in the shower, in the car and at the mall. I have called out in loudly spoken prayers and conversed with Him in my quiet thoughts, I have journaled and I have sang. In whatever way the words come, I don't think God minds, as long as I keep talking to Him. I can't say that I have any more answers, but there is a comfort in being able to voice what I feel and think. When a moment of unexpected grief over takes me I cry out to my God, and I just talk about whats going through my simple human mind. God has been good and oh so patient with me. Some days he reminds me that I don't see the big picture, some days he reminds me that this world I live in is not my eternal home ... I was created for and I long for different things. He knows because in His infinite wisdom, He sees it all. In His almighty kindness and compassion He watched as His own son walked and suffered life here. But He also gives me hope ... he leads others into my life who call out of the blue with a story of hope, or just to say that i crossed their mind today and they prayed for me. He leads me to articles or books that paint beautiful pictures with words like the idea that God is weaving me (my life) into a beautiful tapestry. And some days he needs bright golden joyful threads, and some days he needs mellow cool colors like blues or greens and other days he weaves with red or even dark, dark black. Each day as He works all I see is that one thread being pulled in and out, in and out through the tapestry. But He is God! He is the master crafter of my life and my days. He knew which day to being this tapestry and He knows on exactly which day it will be finished. And he knows exactly what colors and events will be woven into my life. I think we often want only those golden beautiful threads ... because from our view point those are the ones that seems so attractive ... and there is no denying that those golden moments are indeed wonderful. But if you look at a beautiful tapestry you will realize it would not work very well to only use one color .... the blacks and darks are just as important as the bright and vibrant colors. God blends and mixes them together and one day we will join God in heaven and we will have a different view point ... we will see the big picture, we will see the completed project that is our life. And we may even get to know and understand why He needed to use those dark threads, those dark moments in our lives. But there is this little inkling in my mind that tells me once we are there in Heaven, at the feet of our great Lord and King, we won't be wondering any longer about the mysteries and confusions of this earthly life, we won't be seeking the answers I have been seeking ... we will stand before our Great God and Savior and all we will be able to do is worship.<br />
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I have been reassured over the years that God does indeed have plans for my life (Jeremiah 29:11) ... still some days I struggle with how? and why? How can such hurt and pain and loss be a part of what God has planned for my life? For those I love? I don't have the answer ... but I know the One who does and just because I can't explain things in human words does not mean that I won't continue on in love and trust and worship ... He calls me to loves others, Trust in His plans and timing and to Worship Him through all of it. Trust me, its easier to say and write than it is to put that into practice. Some days I do better than others. Some days I get caught up in earthly things ... I lose my focus on God and eternal things and I get concerned with earthly things and circumstances. Those days are rough and sooner or later I am reminded where I need to focus and trust. Thankfully God's mercies are new every morning and once I realize I need to adjust my focus I can seek God's help. How amazing is it that the author and creator of all creation is always willing to take my broken and foolish self back. Whenever I realize my focus is off I can feel so bad about myself and am tempted to believe the lies that filter into my mind ... lies like "why would He want you back?" and "you are too messed up to ever be useful for the Gospel". Lies are tricky things, planted by the master of evil. Its become one of my biggest prayers lately that God close my ears to all the lies and open my ears and my mind only to Godly Truth. I don't want those ugly lies messing up the beautiful thing God is doing with my life. Some day when I stand in Heaven I want to see all the colors God used to weave my story my, my life, my tapestry and I want to give thanks and praise for the way he wove my days.Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-77622815222722448212011-09-11T21:25:00.000-07:002011-09-20T14:44:48.562-07:00What Grief Is, What it Isn’t ...<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}"><span style="font-weight: normal; font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" >A child loss friend of mine posted this on her facebook page today. She said that she found it on a site called <a href="http://www.opentohope.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.opentohope.com</a> I really liked the way they explained grief.</span><br /><br /><blockquote><p><span style="font-size:130%;">Grief doesn’t wait for an invitation. It doesn’t go away because you want it to. It always overstays its welcome. It isn’t logical or easily explained. It doesn’t respond to threats or bribes. It will not be avoided indefinitely. It will find a way to be noticed.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">Grief is not linear, horizontal, or vertical. It is not predictable. It is not confined by time or space. It doesn’t play favorites. It isn’t just for women and sissies. Grief doesn’t forget. It has an excellent memory. It cannot be gone around; only through.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">Grief is never really “finished” or “over.” Rather it takes breaks. It is not a single lesson to be learned, but rather a series of lessons. The outbursts and outpourings of grief seldom happen at convenient times.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">Grief does not apologize. It knocks on everyone’s door eventually.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">It is not the plague and it is not contagious, though it may seem that way when others repeatedly avoid you. It can find you even when you are asleep or dreaming.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">Grief will not leave you alone because you swear at it, although you might feel better for awhile if you do. You can no more reason your way out of grief than you can a paper bag. It will not be toyed with. It insists on being taken seriously.</span></p> <p><span style="font-size:130%;">Grief wants to completely take over your life. You can’t allow that or you will become its victim. Grief respects those who honestly acknowledge its existence and who work with it rather than against it. For them grief allows itself to be reshaped into creative energy and makes room for hope to co-exist along side of it.</span></p></blockquote></span></h6><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Edited to add:</span> Because I really want to give credit where credit is due I spent some time googling and searching www.opentohope.com and I found the origional post my facebook friend was refering to. It was posted on August 6th, 2011 and written by Deb Kosmer.Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-44724562614002153852011-08-31T17:19:00.001-07:002011-08-31T17:24:42.109-07:00A Memorial to JourneyI have been part of bible study for babyloss moms this summer. It's put together by some wonderful women at <a href="http://www.anchoredbyhope.com/bible%20study.html">Anchored by Hope</a>. As a final project each of us are putting together a memorial to our angel babies. I thought I would sharehttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif mine with you:
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<br /><div><embed src="http://www.onetruemedia.com/share_view_player?p=ef323e59b1d100c474d10a" quality="high" scale="noscale" wmode="transparent" name="FLVPlayer" salign="LT" flashvars="&p=ef323e59b1d100c474d10a&skin_id=1010&host=http://www.onetruemedia.com" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" width="327" height="290"></embed><div style="margin:0px;font:12px/13px verdana,arial,sans-serif;line-height:20px;padding-bottom:15px;width:327px;text-align:center;"><a href="http://www.onetruemedia.com/landing?&utm_source=emplay&utm_medium=txt5" target="_blank" style="text-decoration:none;">Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
<br /><span style="text-decoration:underline;">www.onetruemedia.com</span></a></div></div>
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<br />Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-51147784834087965212011-08-28T09:15:00.000-07:002011-08-28T09:22:55.637-07:00Please Join Us On Oct.15th<a href="http://www.october15memorial.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i994.photobucket.com/albums/af66/unforgottenchildren/online%20stuff/bd0e15bd.jpg" /></a>
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<br />This October 15th our family will be joining many other families and supporters of the baby loss community. We will gather to remember our babies and children in heaven, to share our stories and share love. We will light lanterns in memory and release balloons with our babies/childrens names. Many women are working behind the scenes to pull this even together and many prayers are going up that families will find comfort. If you can help or if you can join us please let us know at:
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<br /><a href="http://october15memorial.blogspot.com/p/attend-event.html">www.october15memorial.blogspot.com</a>
<br />Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-48539338135090249192011-08-17T22:23:00.000-07:002011-08-17T22:28:28.296-07:00Day of Hope<center><a href="http://august19thdayofhope.blogspot.com/"><img src="http://i624.photobucket.com/albums/tt324/carlymariedudley/August19Hope.gif" border="0" /></a></center>
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<br />Lots of things floating in my mind ... so much I want to say and yet so hard to put it into words ... I think the words will come when its time, but for now I want to ask ... no beg ... everyone to please read and check out the site for<span style="font-weight: bold;"> <a href="http://august19thdayofhope.blogspot.com/2011/07/august-19th-awareness-gallery.html">Aug 19th - Day of Hope </a></span>And then, please tell all your friends and readers to visit too.
<br />Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-6366808226009722482011-08-07T20:29:00.000-07:002011-08-09T22:09:06.918-07:00Illuminate Week 4 - One year from now?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiINHIFIOwLPqTEd01husVry6I5SVGxPOMpgTqQoYVb_hvPTyOcFZx-rEliAbV2ZzYAHyCe9HDts1uCKRbEkR5P6AoZke5DiujKnRX8cQO2NJF_k19rJnprEgRqQLnHOMW3Ls4NSTdJs1yt/s1600/Journey+Letter+collage.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 418px; height: 94px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiINHIFIOwLPqTEd01husVry6I5SVGxPOMpgTqQoYVb_hvPTyOcFZx-rEliAbV2ZzYAHyCe9HDts1uCKRbEkR5P6AoZke5DiujKnRX8cQO2NJF_k19rJnprEgRqQLnHOMW3Ls4NSTdJs1yt/s400/Journey+Letter+collage.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639089448985936034" border="0" /></a>
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<br />what might your life look like in the next week? the next month? What might it look like a year from now?</span>
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<br />That is our final journaling assignment for the online photography course, <a href="http://blog.beyoungphotography.com/2011/06/06/illuminate-registration-open/">Illuminate</a>, taught by my friend <a href="http://blog.beyoungphotography.com/">Beryl,</a> from <a href="http://www.beyoungphotography.com/">Be Young Photography </a>
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<br />I have to admit, this is a tough one for me. I know how I wish it would look, but that dream was shattered a few months ago. And I think I'm afraid to dream or plan right now ... afraid of more loss. What if I look forward to something or try and plan for something that does not happen? Can I handle any more losses or more goodbyes? How can I possibly protect myself from that horrible kind of pain? I don't really think I can ... I don't think anyone can.
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<br />Still, looking into the future now scares me ... the reality is that any of the people I hold so dear could be gone in an instant ... Aug 6th 2011 I spent at a graveside service burying my baby, Journey Peace. I know that at some point in my life I will have to stand at another grave site and bury someone else I love. I know that is unavoidable. Dear Lord, please do not let me be alive to attend any more of my children's funerals. But I have grandparents, and parents and other family, I have dear close friends and neighbors ... I've learned all too well that things like cancer and sickness and accidents can take those lives away. I suppose its morbid, but there are days I start to wonder "well, who is going to be next?" My experience has taught me that what I love and cherish can indeed be ripped from my hands ... from my life. Will it happen tomorrow? No, probably not. Will it happen to everyone I love and cherish? No, most likely not ... but sooner or later it will happen and I will fall apart all over again. I don't think I can handle it again. I don't want to look forward knowing that will eventually happen. I think I would rather live today ... in this moment I have ... and love big!
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<br />Somewhere in the tangled mess of all these thoughts are my memories of bible verses and truths that I am loved and created by a powerful and loving God, that my children are loved and guided by this God as well, that our days were written in the book of life and numbered long before anyone of us were even conceived. So you see, this brings me to very special word i have been holding dear this summer:
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<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmMVOeLhKtcbwzt18YkHxYJZAE6AoLnzigE_j-4Tzha4rKTVWCbs7pCq-Y5q0NFCiUswCsIO2y2u0R4tH87KKXT3Q8BQulKmMd-KrjavTAvpR-qWQLPVZQ7BkxceMbCs-JUM4FQQYxQa9F/s1600/mosaic.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 501px; height: 74px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmMVOeLhKtcbwzt18YkHxYJZAE6AoLnzigE_j-4Tzha4rKTVWCbs7pCq-Y5q0NFCiUswCsIO2y2u0R4tH87KKXT3Q8BQulKmMd-KrjavTAvpR-qWQLPVZQ7BkxceMbCs-JUM4FQQYxQa9F/s400/mosaic.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639088484105932834" border="0" /></a>
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<br />This life on earth is a journey ... and no two journeys will ever follow the same exact path. We each have our own journey to take. I'm blessed and pray that I will spend much of my journey surrounded by family who love me. But some of them will be called off, to their own journey, down a different path, some much sooner than I would like. Others will possibly say longer than I would like. But I find comfort in the knowledge that someone much wiser than I already knows the number of days we will each journey on this earth. One day my journey here will come to an end and I will truly know peace ... my tiny baby is already there ... my baby Journey Peace left this world ... he has indeed journeyed to peace ... and one day I will meet him there.
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<br />Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-44938341844832407072011-08-07T19:51:00.000-07:002011-08-07T20:29:06.997-07:00Burial at Resurrection CemeteryI'm not sure I'm ready to write much about the service and burial yesterday. I am grateful for those who attended and showed us love and support and grateful for those who covered us in prayers even though they could not be there physically.<br /><br />Truthfully I think for me <a href="http://asijourneythroughloss.blogspot.com/2011/08/beautiful-soft-new-blankie-for-journey.html">Tuesday</a> was much more difficult and lonely ... the service yesterday was very honoring and comforting.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhKalOQV2N7BjN3pVPIWhLzNCZl1h90EmltASXTYmWLpxhUbE-dk3bklzucoli2pzldfVU5LQG50j7_94j7RInJX8l_bd5UyGxbyFBQwjkWEruLpO14a-URA6IY3nH_3lU3iSY2yruhKIO/s1600/2011+August+6th+041.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhKalOQV2N7BjN3pVPIWhLzNCZl1h90EmltASXTYmWLpxhUbE-dk3bklzucoli2pzldfVU5LQG50j7_94j7RInJX8l_bd5UyGxbyFBQwjkWEruLpO14a-URA6IY3nH_3lU3iSY2yruhKIO/s400/2011+August+6th+041.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5638318076724184386" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV976z8_gfP2WSgsNXVKSrrS4sebaTu9r6lKA0eyLehFSV_biTRaaWqNyEcp23aRkzrV_qnRPnI8mE0crV5Y98NOX-Me0OBx0qnO2TMDyZXBwiKhLLJyKmZYX5uN5drkR9QJEq1EpCaeu3/s1600/2011+August+6th+054edit.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 301px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV976z8_gfP2WSgsNXVKSrrS4sebaTu9r6lKA0eyLehFSV_biTRaaWqNyEcp23aRkzrV_qnRPnI8mE0crV5Y98NOX-Me0OBx0qnO2TMDyZXBwiKhLLJyKmZYX5uN5drkR9QJEq1EpCaeu3/s400/2011+August+6th+054edit.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5638318090099752306" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzTlPEKBKnCUIsbrU_U2o2QJKZPUkMbpRKrUg8txbSsuSimzmtaD6-4gNo5jnKRV42hUEAVJbObWvu8VWEQHor_0saYSM4wd5EtAqDRwcdtqpTMUo8ad8hopo7A8JQqiQXTOA3TVkoe9RO/s1600/2011+August+6th+042.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzTlPEKBKnCUIsbrU_U2o2QJKZPUkMbpRKrUg8txbSsuSimzmtaD6-4gNo5jnKRV42hUEAVJbObWvu8VWEQHor_0saYSM4wd5EtAqDRwcdtqpTMUo8ad8hopo7A8JQqiQXTOA3TVkoe9RO/s400/2011+August+6th+042.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5638318083575290802" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjixOJ0BuuE1zxeUJMC4k0zfyDRXmI4n53vsKY57tlHoGEhUn16F_-BIUh92B2vHcs0AU3pwml1929918LTMxKT613exWpkstgD8sVYFKrpmyltq23zQnMe8M8HTV01D8xBma8-T7vZMmcs/s1600/2011+August+6th+075.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjixOJ0BuuE1zxeUJMC4k0zfyDRXmI4n53vsKY57tlHoGEhUn16F_-BIUh92B2vHcs0AU3pwml1929918LTMxKT613exWpkstgD8sVYFKrpmyltq23zQnMe8M8HTV01D8xBma8-T7vZMmcs/s400/2011+August+6th+075.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5638318099116693634" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXnGMupy42bWafagzIh5m_p3cX7fY8hyphenhyphenDUwlt9rPMxpcGHmM2WyWOdYn2RlggD7Plqa-ZzO0sHNbNy5skLfB4ArkD2obuZQmCo79LFR5o67muonPoEz2xcSCs9noMNfDPYELaQ8T6OxTWt/s1600/2011+August+6th+089.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXnGMupy42bWafagzIh5m_p3cX7fY8hyphenhyphenDUwlt9rPMxpcGHmM2WyWOdYn2RlggD7Plqa-ZzO0sHNbNy5skLfB4ArkD2obuZQmCo79LFR5o67muonPoEz2xcSCs9noMNfDPYELaQ8T6OxTWt/s400/2011+August+6th+089.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5638318106474894530" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn-8sLPhKKjnABv4HBsknRRy7YIwrUpilf-OLk2ZrXHLiU-mwHs728l0xHTbsBKp-8_waydy7XCPwUiOAIoOeJ3SaxQ9tXZNypC4-DMNamMjZGTuaqiZjRq_M9uYFMRQ4Ssg6kX1KJS6xR/s1600/2011+August+6th+120.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn-8sLPhKKjnABv4HBsknRRy7YIwrUpilf-OLk2ZrXHLiU-mwHs728l0xHTbsBKp-8_waydy7XCPwUiOAIoOeJ3SaxQ9tXZNypC4-DMNamMjZGTuaqiZjRq_M9uYFMRQ4Ssg6kX1KJS6xR/s400/2011+August+6th+120.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5638320966139453842" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPNgXggres044bhRlCfN1Ryy1QYiAXpcNh68X4B6W-f9OIiiAfRozJn27w3OfDsAHki9lEcoP_cfJ9qL9C8CSl0tlxaQZRakmYDU0qCmIiXGkSoENnSiHEwl6NvDemmS74SU5TEZqYMbGX/s1600/2011+August+6th+145.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPNgXggres044bhRlCfN1Ryy1QYiAXpcNh68X4B6W-f9OIiiAfRozJn27w3OfDsAHki9lEcoP_cfJ9qL9C8CSl0tlxaQZRakmYDU0qCmIiXGkSoENnSiHEwl6NvDemmS74SU5TEZqYMbGX/s400/2011+August+6th+145.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5638320005285838274" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7eMBM_ieZb6TtMTE7YXYIN8_goQhoR09fW9IbbMc7N7fae4-9eiueF1tGOOTe-UlWghah4u5ECIr_wqiZ1ufR2U59pQly6QpDX_0t7g3qLS6Z3E4Pu5lJNYCHAw0aGvpwCLd9UHoMZ1Lq/s1600/2011+August+6th+127.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7eMBM_ieZb6TtMTE7YXYIN8_goQhoR09fW9IbbMc7N7fae4-9eiueF1tGOOTe-UlWghah4u5ECIr_wqiZ1ufR2U59pQly6QpDX_0t7g3qLS6Z3E4Pu5lJNYCHAw0aGvpwCLd9UHoMZ1Lq/s400/2011+August+6th+127.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5638319989265906146" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMJTd8qMXpz7JbRYzoMWOTK9PIz5l4_Ud98cFjZCWZU51PXIY8XjExA9nPOtsdpG7DvezbdEcsIWBVdWSOq1lXUBDzqqKGtsWQ8YExvsZ85gL8hBfSE397yC_XLga7bf5B_YH9am_g52aX/s1600/2011+August+6th+131.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMJTd8qMXpz7JbRYzoMWOTK9PIz5l4_Ud98cFjZCWZU51PXIY8XjExA9nPOtsdpG7DvezbdEcsIWBVdWSOq1lXUBDzqqKGtsWQ8YExvsZ85gL8hBfSE397yC_XLga7bf5B_YH9am_g52aX/s400/2011+August+6th+131.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5638319986347604978" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIhfN4MT_KfyaIJklwX_pEzzNrKd0zg8lJfGRA-QAip8aiB-Zi_C2rmNusKuuiC_EZ64jpA5ooBLGU3Qc_IKeZMtZWhwEXrZCZYcGWpHB2S5kkzreslZi_QiZbdc5Vb4XwThNS-Rd9uaYz/s1600/2011+August+6th+135.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIhfN4MT_KfyaIJklwX_pEzzNrKd0zg8lJfGRA-QAip8aiB-Zi_C2rmNusKuuiC_EZ64jpA5ooBLGU3Qc_IKeZMtZWhwEXrZCZYcGWpHB2S5kkzreslZi_QiZbdc5Vb4XwThNS-Rd9uaYz/s400/2011+August+6th+135.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5638319979136602434" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCeBVbwq6CpUhm-FGboYybYQ_jXLFEFQcK7EPNwfD9cup8SsD11yjZMWO9C_J_cp3mNti5LUhhKjylop8Us-rMI4rgq38slUd9e73E09dugIpIpncyqnqWUqA9zW1nBTxh_4HKaTH4d15O/s1600/2011+August+6th+144+-+Copy.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCeBVbwq6CpUhm-FGboYybYQ_jXLFEFQcK7EPNwfD9cup8SsD11yjZMWO9C_J_cp3mNti5LUhhKjylop8Us-rMI4rgq38slUd9e73E09dugIpIpncyqnqWUqA9zW1nBTxh_4HKaTH4d15O/s400/2011+August+6th+144+-+Copy.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5638320010996795282" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQwhkekU9Xsl1sqMGLoKbMdOP73TParNLI6cjo0TvRRY0Y7B-MbB-sBZwHCLyf6vUFkKuBCft2aqpFPUK9BGwIj8OWKcjENuiW_sNvOdkCPTfbRPrudvWzzYOF70VVPU0xF1gSwXwLv0un/s1600/2011+August+6th+139.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQwhkekU9Xsl1sqMGLoKbMdOP73TParNLI6cjo0TvRRY0Y7B-MbB-sBZwHCLyf6vUFkKuBCft2aqpFPUK9BGwIj8OWKcjENuiW_sNvOdkCPTfbRPrudvWzzYOF70VVPU0xF1gSwXwLv0un/s400/2011+August+6th+139.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5638320945069560370" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikZUu5m_cYkBff9ZFVGquvErnAPJxzRZx06ZejyKUSux8BN7cr67t8KVbI6WLKH2pyIbXhYYbFX5ntEZ3H0GXzPbTOqKSrs9-nHTyloQ4-b17wA_l7XVJfyiGjZXJjRr3XFr75EmHa5Qrn/s1600/2011+August+6th+142.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikZUu5m_cYkBff9ZFVGquvErnAPJxzRZx06ZejyKUSux8BN7cr67t8KVbI6WLKH2pyIbXhYYbFX5ntEZ3H0GXzPbTOqKSrs9-nHTyloQ4-b17wA_l7XVJfyiGjZXJjRr3XFr75EmHa5Qrn/s400/2011+August+6th+142.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5638320953595472962" border="0" /></a>Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-9744115309877806772011-08-02T20:03:00.000-07:002011-08-03T10:53:54.780-07:00A beautiful soft new blankie for Journey ... more tears for his MommyOn Saturday we will have a prayer service and burial at Resurrection Cemetery ... but today I had to take our baby's remains to the funeral home. I know that since his heart stopped beating in May, Journey has been in heaven ... healed and perfect and full of joy at the feet of his Savior and Creator. But I am still here on earth and am still imperfect and weak in my human state ... this was a very hard day, filled with tears. I am glad that on my way to the funeral home the idea to buy a baby blanket to wrap his small casket in came to my mind ... so instead of driving right past that Walmart, I stopped and went in. I stood in the baby aisles, tears in my eyes. I avoided eye contact with other shoppers and workers lest anyone ask me if I was finding what I was looking for ... Could you just imagine me tearfully saying "I am trying to decide which is the perfect baby blanket to bury my baby in."? Such an odd feeling to know those around me were shopping for every day needs and carrying on life as normal. I can't even comprehend normal anymore, my life feels broken ... I stood there trying to decide if I should really spend $16 dollars on that beautiful blue super soft blankie or just get the green Pooh Bear one for $9, it was cute too. Then there was the $4 blue air plane one ... but not soft at all, almost scratchy feeling. BUT LIKE IT REALLY MATTERS!!!! HE IS DEAD! I stood there for a long time, picking up one then the other, then another one and then the soft blue one again. I finally decided I needed the one I loved, the soft blue one ... and I needed not just one but two. One to wrap his casket in, and one for me. I know it seems like a waste of $32 to some people. But it was comforting to wrap his tiny casket in his soft new beautiful blue blanket. And as I cried and left the funeral home, actually gasping for breath, I clung to my soft new beautiful blue blanket.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjciwv0-5aST1k45w4vUV3mCyGJuU8LQvRqxCl3njZPleQ9AgSJPZQra7Fd2Nj9gHoSdA1d5ASFi79VkmDjdZ7E0Of6oyrOe-B3LyMeZOtG4-WkHMwUFLNT5iudVj_h6SO1gRehq0OI9OdH/s1600/Aug+2011+182.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjciwv0-5aST1k45w4vUV3mCyGJuU8LQvRqxCl3njZPleQ9AgSJPZQra7Fd2Nj9gHoSdA1d5ASFi79VkmDjdZ7E0Of6oyrOe-B3LyMeZOtG4-WkHMwUFLNT5iudVj_h6SO1gRehq0OI9OdH/s400/Aug+2011+182.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5636653818973332482" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWjJ-8gULuJ41TsEeMkHp7Gt8P1nM7wuhuH1L03a9sDyMgpB7XlA-XlUlyVdtWU3JXjqZ4rdAtzlxjt2mAKWc2FaJgoP30vapVdJZc3JbrpPRcJBY2B0am48mDw7NXmftSBP9X4vx8CuSK/s1600/Aug+2011+184.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWjJ-8gULuJ41TsEeMkHp7Gt8P1nM7wuhuH1L03a9sDyMgpB7XlA-XlUlyVdtWU3JXjqZ4rdAtzlxjt2mAKWc2FaJgoP30vapVdJZc3JbrpPRcJBY2B0am48mDw7NXmftSBP9X4vx8CuSK/s400/Aug+2011+184.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5636653808732138594" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimgwOn8rqggNO-zxo8E3RI4kPt7h8uJvwacdhsC3F2_UJGiy6Iec2LIlaYw7IFIZA8ChF1ACTZ_kwr0WRq1rGQQZZ0Zy6n5gD7toGWMG_8Ln-wIfmocKDq9Dp9FqgoO2QKRghobemQz2CJ/s1600/Aug+2011+187.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimgwOn8rqggNO-zxo8E3RI4kPt7h8uJvwacdhsC3F2_UJGiy6Iec2LIlaYw7IFIZA8ChF1ACTZ_kwr0WRq1rGQQZZ0Zy6n5gD7toGWMG_8Ln-wIfmocKDq9Dp9FqgoO2QKRghobemQz2CJ/s400/Aug+2011+187.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5636653802608496626" border="0" /></a> I sat in my car bawling asking God where do I go now? Wiping my tears with my soft blue blanket. I finally just started driving and ended up at Resurrection Cemetery. They have a memorial wall and children's garden there. I brought my camera and my soft blue blanket, walked the path down to the garden and cried. I cried out to God and I prayed ... I am grateful for a place where I could just cry and pray.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5zGfOuFVWwlRp6_Sc4vWibBN8gn6HNnaXEibaXAqZULMwzzTAJLnwBK81XJf1d3KD8jiOv3iMKdO5Inb85rlgkWeoq-jq1eCDhfEE-rIGTq9N7fr7RxkXq584v_xx7-Zdm1HDzIJkVi8V/s1600/Aug+2011+198.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5zGfOuFVWwlRp6_Sc4vWibBN8gn6HNnaXEibaXAqZULMwzzTAJLnwBK81XJf1d3KD8jiOv3iMKdO5Inb85rlgkWeoq-jq1eCDhfEE-rIGTq9N7fr7RxkXq584v_xx7-Zdm1HDzIJkVi8V/s400/Aug+2011+198.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5636653825987780898" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf-vwzkfhhmuGz1lUMKW_3A_BChvZFw9gYVzOsJ5_jmyf8VT0jCgKwjv4xXlCBisPwGsrlEZixGi7xtxX-eDxbjxfbxkT_di9telW1tuMY15QQ7MIhDrej27tJd92g9nTvUaafvxvdfdko/s1600/Aug+2011+197.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf-vwzkfhhmuGz1lUMKW_3A_BChvZFw9gYVzOsJ5_jmyf8VT0jCgKwjv4xXlCBisPwGsrlEZixGi7xtxX-eDxbjxfbxkT_di9telW1tuMY15QQ7MIhDrej27tJd92g9nTvUaafvxvdfdko/s400/Aug+2011+197.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5636653834454690850" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhePvBCTgPClJPzTFGSD8zxTQ_wKWGOV5cxemcyrRaUH1bwnV6j1nUPLCOepQUciRCmeoYGW877N0ueaIGmIaHorAkgSVJw6gNaBdwD0voRnIE4F_ZqTWubXh4o2x2bJt0YehDb09cXEd5d/s1600/Aug+2011+199.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhePvBCTgPClJPzTFGSD8zxTQ_wKWGOV5cxemcyrRaUH1bwnV6j1nUPLCOepQUciRCmeoYGW877N0ueaIGmIaHorAkgSVJw6gNaBdwD0voRnIE4F_ZqTWubXh4o2x2bJt0YehDb09cXEd5d/s400/Aug+2011+199.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5636664514655242834" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMVKyS4CvnmKvuPIkZ1mbUmTONsAqbKorcwHNvEmYav1wjBudBSilya_w4PAYDNG9WtQAWyfN9MORSMvvU8Dy3MUqgFdySTBG2KxbUEc4if0wWp2Ddy8Tle6fYN68tC-IwO8ZTQGUvVqMf/s1600/Aug+2011+201.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMVKyS4CvnmKvuPIkZ1mbUmTONsAqbKorcwHNvEmYav1wjBudBSilya_w4PAYDNG9WtQAWyfN9MORSMvvU8Dy3MUqgFdySTBG2KxbUEc4if0wWp2Ddy8Tle6fYN68tC-IwO8ZTQGUvVqMf/s400/Aug+2011+201.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5636664525972413554" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj01rQ85sqw4-MjSglUGL3psK8N9-YeYsc3sGRTSFMWeLSfdvuxa15dGYD1QkUfZVp-EDIoN9jE8n_w_N6Ou29PZAr2cjsqIa-uFgYp9tOPewQ9Hy3eKwMon1fP1IZka3cpvIw3glmPyluQ/s1600/Aug+2011+204.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj01rQ85sqw4-MjSglUGL3psK8N9-YeYsc3sGRTSFMWeLSfdvuxa15dGYD1QkUfZVp-EDIoN9jE8n_w_N6Ou29PZAr2cjsqIa-uFgYp9tOPewQ9Hy3eKwMon1fP1IZka3cpvIw3glmPyluQ/s400/Aug+2011+204.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5636664533958966242" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq3ZtyfPZSHz6UxVy4T5zUirYsKwXZWJex1Qrr7rgzFXQ10vzT0jqf42uCGnn5xZqDwXhdqLCaLEVBGF1AjP7gPmHbjTyuEeXf7mLMgO1xq7LJWssueGSRe8TbP0_TGghGyyQFDe3Ek0gY/s1600/Aug+2011+207.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq3ZtyfPZSHz6UxVy4T5zUirYsKwXZWJex1Qrr7rgzFXQ10vzT0jqf42uCGnn5xZqDwXhdqLCaLEVBGF1AjP7gPmHbjTyuEeXf7mLMgO1xq7LJWssueGSRe8TbP0_TGghGyyQFDe3Ek0gY/s400/Aug+2011+207.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5636664544125066546" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp3e7UfrUQiHmSgr0cKgokUOm5n6z-WmMYvZbE1ABMOpl7P13TQGgP6STcxoJA-j2Jm8x72MarV6f1g9umDJM1xgGoiPrf_fqi2eROavjgWc3RraZ6v7T3Ph9O9I9cV_ckexgXIbOHFZo-/s1600/Aug+2011+249.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp3e7UfrUQiHmSgr0cKgokUOm5n6z-WmMYvZbE1ABMOpl7P13TQGgP6STcxoJA-j2Jm8x72MarV6f1g9umDJM1xgGoiPrf_fqi2eROavjgWc3RraZ6v7T3Ph9O9I9cV_ckexgXIbOHFZo-/s400/Aug+2011+249.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5636664555701672626" border="0" /></a><br />I know that everyone has their ways of coping ... for some reason my camera has become one of mine. I'm sure that taking pictures would not bring comfort to some people, but for me it has been incredibly soothing. I never leave home without my camera now. God met me there in that garden, as I cried and prayed ... He was with me. Am I done grieving ... done crying? No, certainly not, but He did bring me moments of peace and comfort there in those beautiful surroundings and I wanted to capture that in pictures. The pictures can't really convey the feelings, but they help me remember. For a while I sat and cuddled my soft new blanket, so glad I had it. Then these three white butterflies started flying around me ... really pretty. I would almost get a picture of one of them and then it would fly away, zoom around over my head for a bit and land somewhere else, so I would tip toe over to its new location almost get the picture, but as soon as I pressed my shutter button it would be gone again ... at one point I was actually giggling at them ... it was like a game. And then for a bit a really big and bright colored dragon fly joined their game, but I was never able to catch him in a picture. Only caught two of the butterflies:<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAhTYiTXF1-HFZF_OG_2XjOqw14wK9WmvSIN7X-yeYNOlpBTxiKruO7O3SQUbbckNBpBLRN3tKt-Cxj0LUMUkbZiDI-JBs8czV0mWrvPwGhkG6fdvQA3E9_1mYzlPC0q9iNkC3WdrrgPWr/s1600/Aug+2011+221-1.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 294px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAhTYiTXF1-HFZF_OG_2XjOqw14wK9WmvSIN7X-yeYNOlpBTxiKruO7O3SQUbbckNBpBLRN3tKt-Cxj0LUMUkbZiDI-JBs8czV0mWrvPwGhkG6fdvQA3E9_1mYzlPC0q9iNkC3WdrrgPWr/s400/Aug+2011+221-1.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5636685028087317394" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDs45KaltS8g8Fqh2JNop-tama_SL5TStZDTI8PRPXp3VbBH4MwPYMl05Kxs45EUB0pJMdDJfKYlXhatmYCtBgOVveXs7fjUpK2-G60pBheXE5Szg6SLlTYiqXR3duSMA6j9HK5X7Aku8j/s1600/Aug+2011+219-1.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 294px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDs45KaltS8g8Fqh2JNop-tama_SL5TStZDTI8PRPXp3VbBH4MwPYMl05Kxs45EUB0pJMdDJfKYlXhatmYCtBgOVveXs7fjUpK2-G60pBheXE5Szg6SLlTYiqXR3duSMA6j9HK5X7Aku8j/s400/Aug+2011+219-1.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5636685038125697506" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo9XoWZtVtI05czvIPBFV8TZpX-JKFOvF0TNoaSnl62jamE4BrlJ0_tGnfZoJv6b8QcqFffgylVX9LA3olr0GJb2sA6w6MRSHAv9xAPzK3uw_wFihXGl0760aHGZ6s14Jvtve4M9XyZOF_/s1600/Aug+2011+234-1.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 294px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo9XoWZtVtI05czvIPBFV8TZpX-JKFOvF0TNoaSnl62jamE4BrlJ0_tGnfZoJv6b8QcqFffgylVX9LA3olr0GJb2sA6w6MRSHAv9xAPzK3uw_wFihXGl0760aHGZ6s14Jvtve4M9XyZOF_/s400/Aug+2011+234-1.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5636685020720387666" border="0" /></a><br />Later as I sat down on the ground I started playing with the leaves and twigs and bark laying by me ... I ended up spelling out my baby's name ... again so glad i had a camera with me:<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAOvp1nwsZBspsWguhc0sX5MFg8mb8uB9dgmunf44FTBz8ZlHtnnAcHRYjt7kTTLFEiomw15jwNkAAuwvl2SWYNnWS5EnBxFLXEPELjivInQH4yxcUpyHu2q5k_JUMp7T64THoI2CDTQ5v/s1600/Aug+2011+274-1.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAOvp1nwsZBspsWguhc0sX5MFg8mb8uB9dgmunf44FTBz8ZlHtnnAcHRYjt7kTTLFEiomw15jwNkAAuwvl2SWYNnWS5EnBxFLXEPELjivInQH4yxcUpyHu2q5k_JUMp7T64THoI2CDTQ5v/s400/Aug+2011+274-1.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5636687344266763282" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaaf38H4b7JF4zzQSWLeLbg0VNTD6P7utppfTR0NEkOcd24x0iuFphhb2eYLYKsiQmTBMagI6Lsu2pIr7ewjJRGD8Jdf4ffsXEHdNzQ5JJuHiwsjC2ikvlemRYW3y3AwE25xpqYMlntp3j/s1600/Aug+2011+281+-+Copy.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 140px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaaf38H4b7JF4zzQSWLeLbg0VNTD6P7utppfTR0NEkOcd24x0iuFphhb2eYLYKsiQmTBMagI6Lsu2pIr7ewjJRGD8Jdf4ffsXEHdNzQ5JJuHiwsjC2ikvlemRYW3y3AwE25xpqYMlntp3j/s400/Aug+2011+281+-+Copy.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5636687351232693042" border="0" /></a><br />I know God met me there in that Garden and he met my needs today. As I drove home I was able to turn up my <a href="http://selahonline.com/music-and-lyrics/greatest-hymns">Selah</a> cd and sign hymns at the top of my voice.Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-31095958327535196142011-08-01T08:11:00.000-07:002011-08-02T20:17:53.482-07:00Illuminate Week 3 - 100 stepsFor the next few weeks I will be taking part in an online photography course called <a href="http://blog.beyoungphotography.com/2011/06/06/illuminate-registration-open/">Illuminate</a>, taught by a sweet new friend and baby loss mom <a href="http://blog.beyoungphotography.com/">Beryl,</a> from <a href="http://www.beyoungphotography.com/">Be Young Photography</a><br /><br />For week three of our online photography course Beryl has challenged us to pick a starting place, then take 100 steps and when we stop, look for something to take pictures of. I began with 100 steps from my front door ... that brought me across the street to my neighbors yard. They have some beautifully done landscaping as the entrance to our neighborhood:<br /><br /><br />Taken on my camera's foliage setting:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZIPyq6gzQZSscs50b8YI1hhwuaoqOLdeq32mYOBoPOzdosqq07vqybKrKgFw9sMcd1DvFxmjHbyyeRifGdKBV27KS_4EZfiH9JmBpcJ-snLmSEyif-EDU2ee_lvDir788YkJnnInj5it-/s1600/2011+July+126.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZIPyq6gzQZSscs50b8YI1hhwuaoqOLdeq32mYOBoPOzdosqq07vqybKrKgFw9sMcd1DvFxmjHbyyeRifGdKBV27KS_4EZfiH9JmBpcJ-snLmSEyif-EDU2ee_lvDir788YkJnnInj5it-/s400/2011+July+126.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5635350352827128418" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Taken in auto setting:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFTEahcYYbCj9nycmPOkax8CCK-8RkNuFpr2yuROHGDUXoCHoqbXUTYWrcQaCYazXIbI9jkR2eYq5Uvgdi00Qa0bDXYJb-5drgO9Lt22Jz6ju_ZVxpYempwCzv9KrGrxUeoMW3M7BHQMHY/s1600/2011+July+127.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFTEahcYYbCj9nycmPOkax8CCK-8RkNuFpr2yuROHGDUXoCHoqbXUTYWrcQaCYazXIbI9jkR2eYq5Uvgdi00Qa0bDXYJb-5drgO9Lt22Jz6ju_ZVxpYempwCzv9KrGrxUeoMW3M7BHQMHY/s400/2011+July+127.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5635350354055960850" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Taken in sunset setting:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjmTnADf5qPF6BzwSOTfWgAPsXQsfwvJrvMMiDIgRVCJ3503MV2ECqeN2dth4JVCSCBmE248cv9au1KJBwcxW9rHBfsEB9Bhjf-W0-Lim5JKGia-h3_kn-qTZL3yjAdMTtyJ2f8Gy0uMsL/s1600/2011+July+128.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjmTnADf5qPF6BzwSOTfWgAPsXQsfwvJrvMMiDIgRVCJ3503MV2ECqeN2dth4JVCSCBmE248cv9au1KJBwcxW9rHBfsEB9Bhjf-W0-Lim5JKGia-h3_kn-qTZL3yjAdMTtyJ2f8Gy0uMsL/s400/2011+July+128.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5635349315213980738" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The yellowish orangish flowers really caught my eye, so I took a few more steps and got closer to get better shots of the flowers, and a strange little green bug:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsgcB6kJ839PySPjWAr3GXTW3qgizCdnW7EkrOn4du8e_fSu1-Nk_oxLbzZ2ktnWayjseWuYXhUexggrtfS3hUgGpHUf6IB86g6CQYlm3ERgsSGycOhyk-Fe8mRqoiYAxfEwFQEaIRXn5g/s1600/2011+July+133.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsgcB6kJ839PySPjWAr3GXTW3qgizCdnW7EkrOn4du8e_fSu1-Nk_oxLbzZ2ktnWayjseWuYXhUexggrtfS3hUgGpHUf6IB86g6CQYlm3ERgsSGycOhyk-Fe8mRqoiYAxfEwFQEaIRXn5g/s400/2011+July+133.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5635352368814303698" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6FksE5o3G4kQySOdpp7LV_acqFUpoV0ooHyGAyVZdSRAJGcmMfUD0rBD8BJpzbXmH6HpcnmlHx3GN4q2ETTinNIRccBBtSw0B_XdafDXRKvgGgCJ6LzcTqDYQ1KisIyACPtd8CrOlrGGw/s1600/2011+July+135.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6FksE5o3G4kQySOdpp7LV_acqFUpoV0ooHyGAyVZdSRAJGcmMfUD0rBD8BJpzbXmH6HpcnmlHx3GN4q2ETTinNIRccBBtSw0B_XdafDXRKvgGgCJ6LzcTqDYQ1KisIyACPtd8CrOlrGGw/s400/2011+July+135.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5635352373913038018" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbwvECJjkZZ82QcurQgYt_orH9uDNndq-CRSKtq4YrCmJUAqT9-ry3MsSNdZdz4KlRFgF4bOrSBTlVh3Aq6kB8Emx1F_OWt5YQTDZskIJRqsKTnY1tVKscribctoHftPVG2Ww9kMRfzS12/s1600/2011+July+137.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbwvECJjkZZ82QcurQgYt_orH9uDNndq-CRSKtq4YrCmJUAqT9-ry3MsSNdZdz4KlRFgF4bOrSBTlVh3Aq6kB8Emx1F_OWt5YQTDZskIJRqsKTnY1tVKscribctoHftPVG2Ww9kMRfzS12/s400/2011+July+137.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5635352376916996050" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOGUT1W42hL_3DHCpXf0MaGCjDZlnJhzzBYSUbXdn57KNI8BYhAXejzsDNsQR3_NcdyeOSWisIvpOqwvI6-O0BCdG9SVr3qTryYXOxPIpK6NbmtDiMk56KpITryreLaMtPazr7nYc3umYC/s1600/2011+July+140.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOGUT1W42hL_3DHCpXf0MaGCjDZlnJhzzBYSUbXdn57KNI8BYhAXejzsDNsQR3_NcdyeOSWisIvpOqwvI6-O0BCdG9SVr3qTryYXOxPIpK6NbmtDiMk56KpITryreLaMtPazr7nYc3umYC/s400/2011+July+140.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5635352383880878850" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha7F90S0j7qyehr4LTaiFQvSEHtNHJ5sI4PaYKFeE4NfacQ1r8V8Kn8Bdj1MY4E5pfjLygfXQGvMilGre8_Jxqs28t_mqT6NCLJbKp0OuoSVP03jmbodixSr1-x2sy1ol7OeaipvJET5gQ/s1600/2011+July+139+-+Copy.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha7F90S0j7qyehr4LTaiFQvSEHtNHJ5sI4PaYKFeE4NfacQ1r8V8Kn8Bdj1MY4E5pfjLygfXQGvMilGre8_Jxqs28t_mqT6NCLJbKp0OuoSVP03jmbodixSr1-x2sy1ol7OeaipvJET5gQ/s400/2011+July+139+-+Copy.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5635352377979022210" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4BxHqDBRm1C-lvFUWDZ-jl1ZGE3y9sgxkclyky7VlYMv6cRt7cmHuOw7sKFjtxHPnBE43FULs5bt-fv3kxSXxiMqxfGCxbnFbeiKxyyqaRjz9aUeBlyuq2jE7ng5yQyLqBiIO4UHQYizs/s1600/2011+July+142+-+Copy.JPG"><br /></a>These were the pictures I liked the best from my attempts at the 100 steps challenge ... but I did try it a few other times:<br /><br />On <a href="http://memoriesfortoday.blogspot.com/2011/07/wordless-wednesday.html">Wednesday</a> at a little farm store by my mom's house<br />and<br />On<a href="http://asijourneythroughloss.blogspot.com/2011/08/another-100-steps-grocery-store.html"> Friday</a> in the grocery store by my house<br /><br />Feel free to visit those links sometime and tell me what you think.<br /><br /><br />The second half to our week three assignment was a journaling part. We were supposed to write about the things we are grateful for. I confess, the picture taking was much easier for me this week, than the journaling was. Grief can be overwhelming at times (ok, a lot of the time). It can can consume us if we let it. I liked the 100 steps project, because it helped me to get up and move, and then when I stopped I needed to look for something that appealed to me, something I wanted to photograph. My world feels sad and lonely many days, but I can make a conscious choice to look for the beauty, to look for things that bring a tiny bit of joy. <br /><br />So as I walked I thought about what I was seeing and what am I grateful for? I am grateful for the ability to even take a walk. I can physically stand on my own two feet and walk. I have freedom and safety to leave my house and walk whenever I want. My home and my city are not in the middle of a war zone, be it gang wars or the wars in the middle east, there are others in this world who can not take a walk unless it is absolutely necessary. And even then instead of looking for things of beauty and joy they are looking out for life threatening dangers with every step. I am grateful to live and walk right here where I am.<br /><br />Hmmm ... seems I have a tendency toward unhappy thoughts ...<br />So ... try again ... what am I grateful for? What brings me joy?<br /><br />I do appreciate the beauty, the colors, and the textures in nature ... looking at the flowers in my pictures above I have to wonder how God knew that yellowish orangish pedals would look so nice with a brown center and green stem? Perhaps one of the reasons I like photography is so I can capture just a bit of that beauty to hold on to. But I must be honest here for a moment ... sometimes the fact that there is beauty in the world seems unfair, makes me angry even. There was beauty in my life ... but beauty I could not hold onto ... I have to ask: why can certain things work out so perfectly and yet others fall apart so miserably? Why must we live without the beauty and joy of our babies?<br /><br />Did it again, didn't I? Ended up at negativity.<br />Trying again ...<br />gratitude and joy ...<br />What brings me joy?<br />What am I giving thanks for?<br /><br />I've tried this before ... I read the book <span style="font-style: italic;">One Thousand Gifts</span> by <a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com/2011/08/whats-in-the-mail-for-you-today/">Ann Voskamp</a> ... well I read half of it. I began reading it in January, before we got pregnant ... our life is kinda crazy busy so I would read bits and pieces here and there but then after losing our baby ...well, I had a hard time picking it up again. I've been meaning to, I have wanted to pick it back up ... but there it sits on the dinning room table with other things I have not had the energy to pick up lately.<br /><br />So I went to her Ann's blog today, so I could provide a link for you ... in case you are interested in her book or her idea of recording our own 1000 gifts in a book or a list ... and then, what do you know ... I find today's post most inviting and she has even posted some free printables for the month of Aug ... maybe that will be a good pace for me to start. Anyone want to join me? Here is the link: <a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com/2011/08/whats-in-the-mail-for-you-today/">http://www.aholyexperience.com/2011/08/whats-in-the-mail-for-you-today/</a><br /><br />So I guess today I'm thankful for other moms like <a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com/">Ann</a> who blog about real life, who write books that challenge me. I'm thankful for other moms like <a href="http://blog.beyoungphotography.com/category/illuminate/">Beryl </a>who come up with amazing ideas like combining our love for photography with processing this grief we know all too well. I'm thankful for other moms who can relate to my days, though I am deeply sorry that each of you know this road we are walking. I am grateful that many months ago I bought <a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com/one-thousand-gifts-book/">Ann's book</a> and a journal of my own to start listing my One Thousand Gifts. I'll end today by sharing what I wrote back in January for my first 10 gifts:<br /><br /><ol><li>The feelings of my soft bed and warm covers, as I lay awake hearing four of the people I love breathing in their sleep.</li><li>Bible verses that assure me God wants good for me</li><li>The lines and by Allen's eyes ... especially when he smiles (still makes me go weak in the knees, after all these years)</li><li>Inspired ideas early in the morning (while I'm still in bed) ... Ideas of how I can best use this day to bless my family</li><li>God's grace and prodding that helps me carry our the ideas to bless my family<br /></li><li>A laundry basket to carry clean clothes in, instead of trying to carry the whole load in struggling arms</li><li>A wonderful and gorgeous, loving husband who is willing to cook dinner</li><li>The ability my lap and my arms have to comfort sick children</li><li>My whole family together in one room tonight</li><li>Sleep & rest after a long day<br /></li></ol>Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-67339104761830388552011-07-30T09:09:00.000-07:002011-08-01T12:16:28.566-07:00Another 100 steps - Grocery StoreMy assignment this week from my online photography course was to take 100 steps and find something inspiring or beautiful to photograph ... it can be challenging to find the inspiring or beautiful in everyday life. I had to run to the grocery store one evening this weekend ... and I thought why not try it. So here we go:<br /><br />First step into the store ... start counting<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA1UlIc688_c72n732uJ-T1ZbKCp65U7uObQX9ejSGH61v7lKwdcyiOTJmK737HunaxVLvPfBNW6rvAyTreMXZUmJoKCBOiR9OLXU9bqPGrCvDEO7UAiWhMpVvUjMDwgj08mxOHC6GTGeH/s1600/2011+July+1135+%25282%2529.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA1UlIc688_c72n732uJ-T1ZbKCp65U7uObQX9ejSGH61v7lKwdcyiOTJmK737HunaxVLvPfBNW6rvAyTreMXZUmJoKCBOiR9OLXU9bqPGrCvDEO7UAiWhMpVvUjMDwgj08mxOHC6GTGeH/s400/2011+July+1135+%25282%2529.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5635928361832581250" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Here is what I saw at 100 steps:<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_wSNrZxM6Y7KLpqyCb-UE1VFFUQ4z4yabqRzipFTds1K75eyLL0oMrTKmxu35h3rRNiK4h0bmDPNm2fBa1ZDfuZo9ANHW227ZGk2GUIfToTYamC8vvEMDIS9stuH2Wq2XX9WhOtslCtmN/s1600/2011+July+1119b.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_wSNrZxM6Y7KLpqyCb-UE1VFFUQ4z4yabqRzipFTds1K75eyLL0oMrTKmxu35h3rRNiK4h0bmDPNm2fBa1ZDfuZo9ANHW227ZGk2GUIfToTYamC8vvEMDIS9stuH2Wq2XX9WhOtslCtmN/s400/2011+July+1119b.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5635928368463244690" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />Then I noticed this, and I certainly believe anytime you combined chocolate<br />and marshmallow it is a thing of truly delicious beauty:<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjex1Wmg4iiQ_rvqxPKk4bHqVOdoS5RGahsj2e6bwFoiPwOsgfTryFwCcLE_PIOmLdFNciet5-iqNfcstPN9wi0uPUm5JU4VVq9li04lJ1ckB4_1UXFZv7bI5Pr7juNAYJPT2cEDhlgGS-1/s1600/2011+July+122.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjex1Wmg4iiQ_rvqxPKk4bHqVOdoS5RGahsj2e6bwFoiPwOsgfTryFwCcLE_PIOmLdFNciet5-iqNfcstPN9wi0uPUm5JU4VVq9li04lJ1ckB4_1UXFZv7bI5Pr7juNAYJPT2cEDhlgGS-1/s400/2011+July+122.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5635930470330656882" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Then I found some other yummy things to take pictures of:<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7qSF3MUlECSkNGbcHjQlOd-H8nLvWPfd3pGRthlzPeUQ6urmCDEhiDuJeW43ZMGgUUPENLikJ1sh9P8fHT0UFb37LJgYt2zvkpOK5p4soPFOF_hNOxiKgdqVMp9ZlUkt6mefoZazLbRbP/s1600/2011+July+124.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7qSF3MUlECSkNGbcHjQlOd-H8nLvWPfd3pGRthlzPeUQ6urmCDEhiDuJeW43ZMGgUUPENLikJ1sh9P8fHT0UFb37LJgYt2zvkpOK5p4soPFOF_hNOxiKgdqVMp9ZlUkt6mefoZazLbRbP/s400/2011+July+124.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5635930474524045842" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSSbpsOkA_Nr8p57U5UeAszYIQfvSMCK1CM2PAo_RjRl7uSVZZifn1pnaiKltNXkm842t_dICawqRgwm5RiX8GF5Dz8-btWHSt9r1SUrN7yHyo6bRHSUojAmpXngfuTugaHoio5ITreOyj/s1600/2011+July+123.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSSbpsOkA_Nr8p57U5UeAszYIQfvSMCK1CM2PAo_RjRl7uSVZZifn1pnaiKltNXkm842t_dICawqRgwm5RiX8GF5Dz8-btWHSt9r1SUrN7yHyo6bRHSUojAmpXngfuTugaHoio5ITreOyj/s400/2011+July+123.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5635928377875964018" border="0" /></a><br /><br />And finally what I came for :<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinrvSNO3uDiRv8GDNa6_PvjUO7nHbGeYBbMzl9eblgjUcPE_QoaG574HirdsYAlrBDUc4A1t5heNj4xRLJi2PUUshFfuFL9PvIa95m3BlEFV9atpVfsjt5vIFw5w7xlciX2IE3vKjQsza7/s1600/2011+July+125.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinrvSNO3uDiRv8GDNa6_PvjUO7nHbGeYBbMzl9eblgjUcPE_QoaG574HirdsYAlrBDUc4A1t5heNj4xRLJi2PUUshFfuFL9PvIa95m3BlEFV9atpVfsjt5vIFw5w7xlciX2IE3vKjQsza7/s400/2011+July+125.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5635930474792087986" border="0" /></a><br />So many choices:<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOW3j2T6NfUPp6sWraZitUpAJsV08DTHD4l_e16HP17wkwT0m1jN91cuU9Sd6s0y87t31o2OVyhvrcPc5OLetG2bmtXjgBUxaf8PQojiHtS4Ah6eoTcH_N8iMOdN7uhiGhthi8p_liH4FR/s1600/2011+July+129.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOW3j2T6NfUPp6sWraZitUpAJsV08DTHD4l_e16HP17wkwT0m1jN91cuU9Sd6s0y87t31o2OVyhvrcPc5OLetG2bmtXjgBUxaf8PQojiHtS4Ah6eoTcH_N8iMOdN7uhiGhthi8p_liH4FR/s400/2011+July+129.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5635933907820748066" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYGnBBYI58thxPi0AuXuwHzCBvS7MQM9V0tLhgY2FMgNLSMBVBzSZd2MOAg7tJseKMAG_J3PqDGdnVXhMEENhpXQIAKD-_tmdt1ICvBLVVwbSxGLMxlzoWW8AcIYrgI9wTFUkxQDqeNMhf/s1600/2011+July+127+%25282%2529.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYGnBBYI58thxPi0AuXuwHzCBvS7MQM9V0tLhgY2FMgNLSMBVBzSZd2MOAg7tJseKMAG_J3PqDGdnVXhMEENhpXQIAKD-_tmdt1ICvBLVVwbSxGLMxlzoWW8AcIYrgI9wTFUkxQDqeNMhf/s400/2011+July+127+%25282%2529.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5635930485168421346" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgljQ-MrGWVN2CVa_VORWQ2XfEDW25Y7df5QNKuvQsIcGE7gPY1RLsLbjNh5TfSFPTj1f6T7NRQOu2-qwsqdMeKn6XMsYMs2eUEpeL4s2Yf_mxSLtHf-GNWINZ238ESkjy1wLo1Doi_vbTG/s1600/2011+July+126+%25282%2529.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgljQ-MrGWVN2CVa_VORWQ2XfEDW25Y7df5QNKuvQsIcGE7gPY1RLsLbjNh5TfSFPTj1f6T7NRQOu2-qwsqdMeKn6XMsYMs2eUEpeL4s2Yf_mxSLtHf-GNWINZ238ESkjy1wLo1Doi_vbTG/s400/2011+July+126+%25282%2529.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5635933912187419906" border="0" /></a><br />Has anyone tried this? I don't think I would like spicy popcorn ... hmmm...<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheXmrv9YE3lAQyOukzsJGd8HmHFgmgkx-d4KS4Q2u4AEX8Be4tkKEfnFIkzYLaWAZdA2wfFkK-fDUrcG-LP1OZ205AxkiFtp1aSI_Z-P8DECNQMnPGGrp6cUnZFmQGJQO5D5lN-PwimXy1/s1600/2011+July+131.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 302px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheXmrv9YE3lAQyOukzsJGd8HmHFgmgkx-d4KS4Q2u4AEX8Be4tkKEfnFIkzYLaWAZdA2wfFkK-fDUrcG-LP1OZ205AxkiFtp1aSI_Z-P8DECNQMnPGGrp6cUnZFmQGJQO5D5lN-PwimXy1/s400/2011+July+131.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5635933916409634258" border="0" /></a><br />Time to check out:<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7nlWUtC57UktjXMVc-gxCRwGWBtwEo7RDmfb9khqo-TDvNMdDg_JDJmQftDQVqnfDqU1e7imWYFPX5xYMa2QJlJtt_x-d8hk2dYD0l1ue0f2EaZyVoKoPDUtroOg1KFFlPvVPq8nH7GgT/s1600/2011+July+1133+%25282%2529.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7nlWUtC57UktjXMVc-gxCRwGWBtwEo7RDmfb9khqo-TDvNMdDg_JDJmQftDQVqnfDqU1e7imWYFPX5xYMa2QJlJtt_x-d8hk2dYD0l1ue0f2EaZyVoKoPDUtroOg1KFFlPvVPq8nH7GgT/s400/2011+July+1133+%25282%2529.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5635933915709913810" border="0" /></a>Our familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2573827882410676078.post-89820872120161515952011-07-29T17:32:00.000-07:002011-07-29T17:41:56.955-07:00Music from above ...Its been a rough few days and since the memorial servive for our Journey is coming up in one week ... I suppose it will only get rougher for a bit. I cry a lot ... I find it almost impossible to sleep most nights ... I drift off around 4 am, but then kids are up between 7 and 8 am ... I'm a very tired sleepy mommy. But night time gets here and I just lay awake thinking ... wondering ... talking to my self ... praying ... worrying ... praying some more.<br /><br />This morning I could barely keep my eyes open as I drove my two eldest kids to help out at our church's VBS. On my way home I was talking with God and the next thing I know I am hearing Amy Grant singing <span style="font-style:italic;">Better Than a Hallelujah</span> coming from my car radio:<br /><iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/zOHJghBU0XA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br /><br /><br />and then the next song that came on was<span style="font-style:italic;"> Blessings</span> by Laura Story:<br /><iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/eOOFAaUGfRE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br /><br />Some times God sends his message in music from aboveOur familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05564588167334825799noreply@blogger.com0