Are You Ok?
by Susan M Simpson
They ask if I'm ok,
Which answer would they like?
There's the one that they'll find easier,
Then there's the one that's right.
I could tell them that I'm coping,
That I'm moving on with life.
They'll smile sadly, nod, agree with me,
Not see my inner strife.
But inside my soul is screaming,
It heard that awful lie.
The truth they just don't want to hear,
This pain I have to hide.
My heart, it feels, is broken,
My spirit, that's gone too.
I sense there's no fight left in me,
That went when I lost you.
And this I cannot tell them
There's no words to explain,
And even if there were,
It would only cause them pain.
I can't pretend, I'm not that strong,
It only makes me cry,
Can't say the words to lie to them,
Don't even want to try.
I'm not 'ok' - will never be
Your life changed me, it's true
This sadness that I carry,
Is a mother's love for you.
So when they ask, I'll look at them,
Through eyes that burn with tears.
I won't deny my love for you,
With lies that quell their fears.
There are no words for me to say,
Instead I will just shrug.
And hope that it will be enough,
They'll leave with just a hug.
I know that if they try too hard,
Their words will just hurt more,
Though kindly-meant, they're meaningless
I fight this lonely war.
They'll say 'you'll have another one'
'Just try again', 'you're young'.
'Accept it wasn't meant to be',
'Get over it', 'move on'.
How could they ever understand
This sorrow that I hide,
Sadly, the only way
Is if they ever lost their child.
Other children I may bear,
And happiness might find,
That never will erase the love
For the child I left behind.
So please don't ask if I'm 'ok'
Don't try to comfort me,
The kindest thing to offer
Is a simple 'I'm sorry'.